The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children's sport between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

#first #information #money #british #parents #children #sport #second #three #sports #britain #time #period

The first chart displays information about the

montly

Correct your spelling

monthly

expenditure on

children

's sports in pounds and the second chart shows data about the

number

of offspring (

millions

) in three

disserent

Correct your spelling

different

sports (football,

athletics

and swimming) between 2008 and 2014.

Overall

, the

amonunt

Correct your spelling

amount

of money which

spent

Add a missing verb

was spent

show examples

children

's outdoor activities rose in the given period.

Additionally

, between 2008 and 20014,

footbal

Correct your spelling

football

always was the most popular sport. In 2008, 20 pounds was spent on

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

classes and facilities. Between 2008 to 20014

this

number

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gradually increased to just over 30 pounds.

Furthermore

footbal

Correct your spelling

football

was

alway

Correct your spelling

always

been the most favourite one with approximately 7.5

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

followers in 2008 and more than 9

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

in 2014. In the case of

athletics

and swimming, in 2008, almost no

children

participated in

athletics

and more than 2

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

participated in swimming,

while

in 2014,

athletics

had more participants than swimming with less than 5

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

and almost 4.5

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

respectively.

Moreover

, in

this

given period, The

number

of swimming athletes

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gradually increased and the

number

athletics

Replace the word

athletes

show examples

experienced fluctuation. In 2011, the

number

of both

groups

Change noun form

group's

groups'

show examples

participantc

Correct your spelling

participants

was similar with 2.5

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

children

Submitted by shima.majidansari on Thu Sep 07 2023

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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, number, millions, athletics with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children's sport between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Developing countries require internation organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better

In many countries government spend a lot of money on arts. However, some think government should spend more on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?