In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effect they have in terms of health on society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is a flexible market for
products
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
lighten or whiten
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
skin
. And the companies who are selling these
products
are in a good selling range and they are making a lot of money. There are so many details about
this
market and the customers, that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
want to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
in
this
essay. In my opinion, it is not bad for
people
to care about their
skin
and do a daily routine to protect it, but
this
process is hurting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
in so many ways.
To begin
, every single
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
show examples
skin
is beautiful, and the
people
who are using these
products
are destroying the
mening
Correct your spelling
meaning
mining
of natural beauty
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is fake if you change your default
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
and become another person.
For example
, some
people
change their
skin
color or do some surgery to change the looking of their face or body
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
is not a good way to stay cute.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, Because of the energy that the companies are using, and because of the plastic tubes and bags that they put the
products
in them,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
of these
products
is having a
serious
Change the adjective
seriously
show examples
bad effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and is
harmung
Correct your spelling
harming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
in a way
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
is not necessary.
For example
, so many animals die or get sick, just
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
people
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
their plastic
trashs
Correct your spelling
trash
trashes
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
. There are
also
so many issues that may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
such
as making
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
waste their money or
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
somebody feel that she is not pretty.
On the other hand
, using these
products
can damage the
skin
and
also
can cause lots of
deasises
Correct your spelling
desires
, in
this
way selling them and using them can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
helth
Correct your spelling
health
and make them sick.
However
, these companies have a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of customers and they are making their businesses stronger
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. There are not many ways to stop them, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
hope
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
lovers and good
people
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
stop them in the future.
Submitted by shima.majidansari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: