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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #changes #amount #type #food #australian #teenagers #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the highs and lows in the quantity and quality of junk food being eaten by Australian adolescents between the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe in 1975, the demand for Pizza and
Hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
Hamburgers
show examples
 were lowest as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to Fish and chips.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we see people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consuming Pizza and
Hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 less than 20
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
 in 1975.
However
Linking Words
, Pizza gained a very sudden popularity and in the
year
Use synonyms
1985
Add a comma
1985,
show examples
 it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 consumed 80
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in the same
year
Use synonyms
 the Hamburger is eaten 40
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2000 both these items
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 eaten almost 90 – 100
times
Use synonyms
. In comparison, Fish and Chips are showing a
total
Change the word
totally
show examples
 opposite trend. We notice that people were eating it 100
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
 in 1975. Later on in
1980
Add a comma
1980,
show examples
 it dropped to almost 80
times
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it again
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 popular in 1985 and is consumed more than 90
times
Use synonyms
. But after
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
, it again showed a downward trend i.e., in 1990 it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 nearly 60, in 1995 it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 50 and in 2000 it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 almost 40
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by khannaughty26 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, times with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Consumption
  • Fast food
  • Australian teenagers
  • Trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Steady increase/decrease
  • Significant rise/decline
  • Compare
  • Contrast
  • Implications
  • Hamburgers
  • Pizza
  • Fish and chips
  • Data points
  • Period (time frame)
  • 25-year period
  • Paraphrase
  • Notable features
  • General increase
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