Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health poblems. Sugary products should be made more expense to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #poblems #expense #people

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I strongly agree that sugary

products

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should be made more and more

axpense

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expensive

expense

so that people consume less as much as possible. The below information

describe

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describes

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about

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apply

show examples

how increasing price can have

good

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a good

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impact on

people

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people's

show examples

health

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. Nowadays, so many

product

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products

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cantain

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contain

contains

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sugar

Change to a plural noun

sugars

show examples

and

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chemical which can harm

public

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the public

show examples

. High

level

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levels

show examples

Use synonyms

sugar

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of sugar

show examples

dont

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are

not only harmful to the nation but

also

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to the

health

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population

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the population

a population

show examples

For example

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, NGOs should spread awareness about eating healthy food and drinks. state

shoud

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should

support NGOs. Nowadays, it is

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show examples

trend among children

for trying

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to try

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new

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

new drinks by which

there

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they

show examples

are consuming more and more

sugar

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However

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, there is even advantages

about

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apply

show examples

as new drinks are coming

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into

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market

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the market

a market

show examples

more and more woman are getting work which is good for the country's development.

Thus

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Government

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the Government

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should support eco-friendly

good

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goods

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as well as

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community should

also

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support

such

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kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

Use synonyms

products

Change preposition

of products

show examples

. On the other side, To improve

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health

Add an article

the health

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of the nation government can impose high taxes on

product

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products

show examples

which are harmful.

For example

Linking Words

, increasing

tax

Correct article usage

the tax

show examples

sugar

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which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will have

great

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a great

show examples

impact on

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sugar

Correct article usage

the sugar

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industries

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industry

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and

sugar

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price

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prices

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will increase by which the public will consume less which will have

great

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a great

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impact on public

health

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Sugar

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is good for

limited

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a limited

show examples

amount. But if the state

will put

Wrong verb form

puts

show examples

more and more taxes on

sugar

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then

Linking Words

poor people will face

diffectly

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difficulty

buy

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buying

show examples

such

Linking Words

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

Use synonyms

products

Change preposition

of products

show examples

To conclude

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, the above information

describe

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describes

show examples

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

how sugary

iteams

Correct your spelling

items

are harmful and government can control

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apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. The above data describe

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

how taxes

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

Change the article

show examples

great role

on consume

Replace the word

in the consumption

show examples

products

Use synonyms

Submitted by purvaam383 on Thu Sep 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals rather than corporations and governments to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people spend a lot of money on clothes , haircuts , beauty products to enhance their apperance. Some think its a good way to spend , while others think there are other better options. Discuss both views and give your opinion.