In some high schools part of the curriculum requires students to participate in community work such as helping the elderly or disabled. In what way do children get benefits from this? Do you think it should be part of the curriculum?

Nowadays, students are taking
part
in so many
activity
Change to a plural noun
activities
show examples
as well as
in
community
work
which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
so many
benefits
which
are describe
Change the verb form
are described
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the below
paragrapy
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragraphs
.
According to
me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
it should be
part
of the curriculum. There are so many
benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
doing
community
work
. As children are in high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
they should take
part
in
community
work
so they can get so many
benefits
like
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
knowledge increase. By taking
part
in different
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
people get more
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
more information about different kinds of
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
. If
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
work
physical development and national development take place.
Thus
, a school should focus a
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
part
in
work
.
For example
, by helping the elderly or
disables
Wrong verb form
disabled
show examples
kids can get blessings from
whose
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
groups. Institutions should make rules for children to take
part
in activities.
For instance
, if a
child
Sunday goes
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
community
work
and
then
plays video games, it can help both
child
Change to a plural noun
children
show examples
as well as
the
community
. If a kid joins new NGOs or
community
work
he will meet new people from
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
he can learn new things. So, By new ,
experice
Correct your spelling
experience
a person will learn a lot about technology. By joining a
community
person will face
really of
Replace the word
a real
show examples
life. Helping elderly people both
gets
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefits
a
Change the article
an
show examples
old person and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
child
.
To conclude
, the
about
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
information describe about
benefits
and advantages which student gets by working in the
community
.
Hence
, every
child
should
be encourage
Change the verb form
be encouraged
show examples
to
work
in the
community
for
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
development. School should
encouarge
Correct your spelling
encourage
to do
work
.
According to
me it should
part
Add a missing verb
be part
show examples
of
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
.
Submitted by purvaam383 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • empathy
  • emotional intelligence
  • civic responsibility
  • community awareness
  • lifelong commitment
  • valuable life skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • time management
  • real-world scenarios
  • boosts self-esteem
  • sense of accomplishment
  • expands worldview
  • promotes inclusion
  • diverse groups
  • open-minded
  • culture of tolerance
  • respect
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