IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

More and more women go out to work. It is the government's responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staffs and facilities to care for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#women #work #government #responsibility #subsidise #staffs #facilities #care #children #idea
I am writing to express my interest in the English teacher position at
Yeshomeclass
. Before I was an engineer with a passion for English teaching, and
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of
this
 year I
see
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
 that I must choose what I love to do, so I
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
to choose
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to become an English teacher full time unlike part-time before. With passion and
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
 I am confident that I would make a positive contribution to
Yeshomeclass
. When I heard you shared about your program
Yeshomeclass
, I could see the value of the program and what
Yeshomeclass
 can bring to students. With a background as
project
Correct article usage
a project
show examples
assictant
Correct your spelling
assistant
 project manager,
facility
Correct word choice
and facility
show examples
 management, I think that I can contribute to the program. I am passionate about teaching and always put the success of students in central. I am committed to creating a positive learning environment that fosters creativity, collaboration, and critical thinking. I am
also
 dedicated to helping students develop the skills they need to succeed in their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and beyond. Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to the opportunity to discuss my qualifications
further
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: