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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

#people #competition #children
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Children are the tender buds of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and they are required to be taught
Use synonyms
values
Correct article usage
the values
show examples
 of life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people tend to believe that the possession of cooperative
values
Use synonyms
 is required
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them. I will discuss the merits and demerits of
both
Use synonyms
 aspects before reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any opinion. To inaugurate with, there are many reasons why children should have competitional
value
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, competition motivates youngsters to accelerate their efforts to attain a higher level in education and in other activities. They start
doing work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 hard to compete with others and understand the
value
Use synonyms
 of hard work.
This
Linking Words
 dedication and hard work help them to understand first everywhere.
Secondly
Linking Words
, oppositional
value
Use synonyms
 includes self-confidence and self-independence when they participate in activities and compete with others, they are more likely to have a feeling of
self-Reliance
Correct your spelling
self-reliance
show examples
 and that result in
best
Add an article
the best
a best
show examples
 decision taken ability in them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is needless to say
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how important is it to generate the
value
Use synonyms
 of cooperation.
This
Linking Words
 is the only feeling by which
a children
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
 can learn teamwork, team spirit, tolerance and patience.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the history is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 it becomes quite
evidence
Replace the word
evident
show examples
 that the
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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 icons of the society are only those who had a helping and sacrificing attitude.
To conclude
Linking Words
, after
quantify
Change the verb form
quantifying
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both
Use synonyms
, competition and cooperative
values
Use synonyms
, I feel that
both
Use synonyms
values
Use synonyms
 have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own importance.
Thus
Linking Words
, a child should be brought up by considering
both
Use synonyms
 equally.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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