IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people #lives
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These days, thanks
for
Change preposition
to
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 modern technology,
people
Use synonyms
’s
live
Replace the word
lives
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 can say that it is more
improve
Change the form of the verb
improved
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 than before but
besides
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 that, it
also
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 has some drawbacks for everyone.
Hence
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, it is not certain that science
is really upgrade
Change the verb form
is really upgraded
is really upgrading
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 the quality of
people
Use synonyms
’s
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. Because we are living in the digital age,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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everything can become automatic.
People
Use synonyms
 don’t need to do anything,
for example
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, if before that many
housewifes
Correct your spelling
housewives
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 very busy and tired because of domestic chores, now we have some
robots
Use synonyms
 that can help them clean the house more easily. We
also
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 can contact together
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although
Capitalize word
Although
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 you are far away from your home or your office, you still can talk with your relatives or join a meeting by
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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phone. Many devices like that make our
live
Replace the word
life
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 become more
convienient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 with many functions that they have. Every individual can research information and absorb more knowledge or perhaps we can work or study everywhere if we want. Sometimes, many benefits that science
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 to
people
Use synonyms
 are
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
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.
Because we
Correct word choice
We
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 have a large number of
robots
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 being born with many advantages, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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also
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replaces
Correct subject-verb agreement
replace
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 the position of
people
Use synonyms
.
Due to
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this
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 become jobless because some positions of companies refuse to hire
people
Use synonyms
instead
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 of using
robots
Use synonyms
 which is the best way for them. Many modern electronic devices have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 and not everyone can buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 to serve their lives. If
people
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
apply
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rely on
this
Linking Words
, our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 will be controlled by
robots
Use synonyms
 and it is
very
Rephrase
apply
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terrible.
Hence
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, science
have
Change the verb form
has
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 many contributions to our
live
Replace the word
lives
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 in building and developing country, but
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other hand, we need to consider a few sides
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
 it is useful for us or not.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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