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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

#movement #people #villages #cities #work #places #measures
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Immigration from
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
 to towns as working is one of the most substantial problems in both places. Nowadays people have mixed views
what
Change preposition
on what
show examples
 are the issues and how they should be solved. To meet
this
 challenge,
this
 particular essay will explore the relative problems and try to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solid solutions.
To begin
 with, as we are living in the industrial age,
cities
 are developed by factories and companies. In
this
 order, they need definitely more workers and employees.
From
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For
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this
 reason, the
citizenships
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citizens
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 in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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 move
in to
Join the words
into
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 the
cities
 because of the better salaries. In
this
 case, the rural would be obviously empty
from
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of
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 people who
works
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work
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 on the lands and farm.
According to
this
 perspective, the cultivated arias are damaged.
Besides
 we would faced with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of fruits and vegetables which
are undervalue
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are undervalued
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 assets. The recommended solution
of
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to
show examples
this
 challenge is that the government should increase the
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 of the farmers and other related
works
Replace the word
workers
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 in the lands
where
Rephrase
apply
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based
on
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apply
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around the industrial
cities
. The next problem is related to the
injure
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injury
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 to the environment of cultivable lands. Because
development
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of development
show examples
 the large
cities
 have
major
Add an article
a major
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 influence on the soil and water in the city. In order to
this
 drawback, the municipal should manage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation and
factories pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
factory pollution
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.
To sum up
, the movement of the workers from rural to town can hurt both
cities
 and
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
. In response to
this
, governments ought to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about
this
 challenge by managing the farmer’s wages and
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
show examples
 industrial wastes.
Submitted by rezasepas1367 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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