Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

#people #companies #employees #exercise #time

It is often thought that organizational departments should give employees some time for physical exercise during working hours. I strongly agree with

this

viewpoint and believe that they should be given some extra time in order to stay active during

work

. In

this

essay, I will give reasons why I support

this

idea. First and foremost, the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

giving extra time to the organizational servants during

work

is the reduction of stress levels.

This

means that they will tend to

work

more actively if they are given some. To put it simply, people will

work

more actively in order to achieve organizational goals.

Moreover

, they will be more productive and efficient.

In addition

this

, employees will be more active mentally and

consequently

, they will produce better results because they will feel more relaxed.

For example

, a recent study conducted by a famous researcher reveals that people are more likely to produce better results if they indulge in physical activities.

Furthermore

, working institutes should give breaks to staff at jobs because continuous

work

can lead to depression.

This

means that many working establishments which do not give exercise gaps to the employees, tend to lose many people because most office

workers

find the environment to be boring and tedious, and

as a result

, they quit those companies. Not only there is

extra

Correct article usage

an extra

show examples

work load

Correct your spelling

workload

show examples

but

also

the environment seems to be boring.

For example

, a famous research institute reveals that offices which give sports gaps to their

workers

get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

positive feedback from their

workers

Therefore

, organizations should give gaps to

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

workers

in order to create a balance. In conclusion, I strongly agree with

this

viewpoint and reckon that offices should allow

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

workers

to have exercise breaks to stay mentally and physically fit.

Submitted by tania4malik on Fri Sep 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion lack clarity and coherence. Try to provide a stronger and more cohesive introduction and conclusion that briefly summarize your main points and provide closure to your essay.

Task Achievement

Overall, you have addressed the task well and presented clear and comprehensive ideas. Ensure that your examples are relevant and support your points effectively.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Studies have shown that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave. Do you agree or disagree?
A group of people believe that the best option to reduce crime is to educate prisoners in prison. Because the researcher's results have illustrated that many criminals have a low degree of education. I completely agree with these thoughts.
7
band
Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries, and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?
Presently, eating unhealthy food, which causes obesity, is a major problem in first-world countries. It is commonly argued that governments should implement more amount of tax on fast food in order to curb the problem. I think this can absolutely have a positive effect and would be more effective alongside other measures that I attempt to outline below.
9
band
In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?
More members of society are beginning to search the historical records of the places where they are settling in. This essay will first suggest that curiosity and preservation planning are two foremost reasons, and then demonstrate that oral accounts and local archives are reliable sources of information.
5.5
band
English Learning, I'm looking to improve our relationship by setting some boundaries. Explain how you want to be treated in these sessions, using clear examples of your own to support the answer.
In recent times, it has become evident that English is given the first priority among all other languages. People from every age group find English to be a very important barrier to maintaining a good image in society. Though this may result in the extinction of other regional languages, I believe that the acquisition of English language skills is currently very crucial.
6.5
band
More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other products from well-known brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In our contemporary, there is a growing trend that buyers have a strong affinity for renowned brands. This essay will delve into the reasons that contribute to this phenomenon before presenting my personal stance on the matter.

Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Studies have shown that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave. Do you agree or disagree?

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries, and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

English Learning, I'm looking to improve our relationship by setting some boundaries. Explain how you want to be treated in these sessions, using clear examples of your own to support the answer.

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other products from well-known brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?