Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

#people #companies #employees #exercise #time

It is often thought that organizational departments should give employees some time for physical exercise during working hours. I strongly agree with

this

viewpoint and believe that they should be given some extra time in order to stay active during

work

. In

this

essay, I will give reasons why I support

this

idea. First and foremost, the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

giving extra time to the organizational servants during

work

is the reduction of stress levels.

This

means that they will tend to

work

more actively if they are given some. To put it simply, people will

work

more actively in order to achieve organizational goals.

Moreover

, they will be more productive and efficient.

In addition

this

, employees will be more active mentally and

consequently

, they will produce better results because they will feel more relaxed.

For example

, a recent study conducted by a famous researcher reveals that people are more likely to produce better results if they indulge in physical activities.

Furthermore

, working institutes should give breaks to staff at jobs because continuous

work

can lead to depression.

This

means that many working establishments which do not give exercise gaps to the employees, tend to lose many people because most office

workers

find the environment to be boring and tedious, and

as a result

, they quit those companies. Not only there is

extra

Correct article usage

an extra

show examples

work load

Correct your spelling

workload

show examples

but

also

the environment seems to be boring.

For example

, a famous research institute reveals that offices which give sports gaps to their

workers

get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

positive feedback from their

workers

Therefore

, organizations should give gaps to

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

workers

in order to create a balance. In conclusion, I strongly agree with

this

viewpoint and reckon that offices should allow

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

workers

to have exercise breaks to stay mentally and physically fit.

Submitted by tania4malik on Fri Sep 08 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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