IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #people
Environment
Correct article usage
The environment
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 currently is damaged by humans in a wide range of ways, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they have to take responsibility to limit the effects.
This
 essay will explain some
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 problems and what governments and individuals should do to tackle
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 issues. There are two main severe threats to the
environment
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution and waste. Global warming, these days,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasingly
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 the most serious problem
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Earth, which is the result of gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes by vehicles.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 huge quantity of waste is released by people contaminating the Earth and polluting rivers and oceans. Authorities could take many steps to minimize
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
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.
Firstly
, the government should impose new laws to restrict
on
Change preposition
apply
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factory’s
Change noun form
factory
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 gas emissions by using renewable energy in production.
Secondly
, it is necessary to improve public transport systems and introduce “green taxes”
to
Change preposition
on
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 private cars.
Thirdly
, politicians need to encourage their citizens to commute by public vehicles, which could help decrease air pollution in major cities. People
also
 should be in charge of the urgent environmental concerns. They have to enhance the use of environmentally friendly vehicles
such
 as buses or electronic cars
instead
 of driving, which could reduce the exhaust fumes.
Also
, people should purchase
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycled
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 products in order to avoid releasing too much waste. A good example
for
Change preposition
of
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this
 case is that Vietnamese governments spur their citizens
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
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 more paper bags when going
to
Change preposition
apply
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shopping, which could help cut down on plastic bag consumption. In conclusion, both
nation
Replace the word
national
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 authorities and individuals must understand
devastating
Add an article
the devastating
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 impact they have on the
environment
 and be responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
Submitted by huynhthienlam1805 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
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