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Band 5

Towns and cities are attractive places. Some people suggest the government should spend money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues to make them better to live in. Do you agree or disagree?

#towns #cities #places #people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues
There has been a debate about whether more budget should be put
in
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into
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Correct article usage
the constructions
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constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
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 of art-related facilities, and some believe that
dong
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doing
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 so can make towns or
cities
 more livable places. I cannot agree with
this
 statement, because there are many other areas that should be given priority to investment.
To begin
 with traffic, for
cities
 with millions of populations,
transportations
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transportation
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 is as indispensable as the vessels to
human
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the human
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 body. The daily necessities of urban residents, convenient online shopping, efficient online meal ordering and so on all depend on the smooth logistics system. It can be imagined that in a crowded metro station, adding an accessible location is obviously
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
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 than the murals to relieve the pressure of commuting hours. Next to afforestation,
similarly
, a green lung is essential to a contemporary city. Until an effective alternative energy is found, the air pollution caused by using fossil fuels will keep your breath hard and your vision limited. At present, the simplest and most effective approach to
reduce
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reducing
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 air pollution is greening, which is
reason
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the reason
a reason
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 why new construction subjects must ensure certainly
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
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 of planting areas.
In addition
, public green areas and
park
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parks
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 can provide opportunities for exercise, leisure, picnics and so on, which are
also
 irreplaceable by art facilities. In conclusion,
although
 art-related installations
such
 as paintings and sculptures can make
cities
good looking
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good-looking
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, more investments should
put
Add a missing verb
be put
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in
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into
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 transportation and afforestation, which can keep
cities
 healthy and energetic. Needless to say, if there is a sufficient budget, art should
also
 be considered, after all, everyone likes a beautiful city to live in.
Submitted by 365038807 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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