Many people today prefer to socialise online rather than spend time with friends in the local community. To what extend do advantages outweight disadvantages?

#people #socialise #time #friends #community #outweight

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Nowadays many human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

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opt to spend their

time

Use synonyms

online

instead

Linking Words

of meeting

friends

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and hanging out with them,

while

Linking Words

Change the article

the

show examples

least figure of people

choose

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chooses

show examples

to meet

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

best

friends

Use synonyms

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Neverethless

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Nevertheless

there are

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apply

show examples

relevant disadvantages.

theis

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This

essay will argue that

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apply

show examples

I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay. one commonly cited

disadvantages

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disadvantage

show examples

of humans who prefer to discuss with their

friends

Use synonyms

online

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

meeting them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will suffer from

couple

Change the article

a couple

show examples

of problems in their lives.

Such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

speaking publicly and preparing for a presentation, etc. Despite

this

Linking Words

, people who

send

Correct your spelling

spend

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their

time

Use synonyms

sociale

Correct your spelling

social

media rather than utilize it for education or building a business, their mental health and well-being will

sacrifice

Wrong verb form

be sacrificed

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, my Brother has been spending his

time

Use synonyms

online

overdose

Wrong verb form

overdosing

show examples

. right now he has an illness, he can't

speaks

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speak

show examples

with in

Correct your spelling

within

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his social life. Despite

this

Linking Words

, there are a number of significant benefits to the notion if they

preference

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prefer

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to socialise with

friends

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or families online than go out with them.

Linking Words

Additionally

Add a comma

Additionally,

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they can organize their

time

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Change preposition

for

show examples

talking,

also

Linking Words

, studying at the same

time

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instead

Linking Words

of meeting them for

an hours

Correct the article-noun agreement

an hour

hours

show examples

you can

discussed

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discuss

show examples

whith

Correct your spelling

with

them

merely

Change preposition

for merely

show examples

a minute or one hour maximum.

For example

Linking Words

, I choose to chat with my

friends

Use synonyms

online rather than sitting in the local community, I have been

found

Verb problem

spending

show examples

an extra hours

Correct the article-noun agreement

extra hours

an extra hour

show examples

on my planning,

Linking Words

instead

Correct word choice

and instead

show examples

of that

Change the capitalization

show examples

consume a little bit of energy.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there are

drowbacks

Correct your spelling

drawbacks

if humans

talking

Wrong verb form

talk

show examples

daily online they will suffer from

multi

Correct word choice

multiple

show examples

symptoms physically and mentally,

While

Linking Words

the satisfaction is the

time

Use synonyms

that

include

Change the verb form

includes

show examples

triviality will

decreased

Change the verb form

decrease

be decreased

show examples

Submitted by alihafiid on Fri Sep 08 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas to ensure a clear and logical progression of thoughts.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the main points.

lexical resource

Enhance the variety and accuracy of vocabulary. Use appropriate expressions and collocations.

grammatical range

Improve sentence structures by paying attention to grammar and punctuation. Use a wider range of sentence structures with more accurate and varied grammar.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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