IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#research #consumers #development
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Currently, there are some studies finding that
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advertisement
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advertisements
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 less likely to impact some
people
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 than before. Several factors may relate to
this
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 phenomenon which I believe is a positive development. The advent of
this
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 trend is complex, possibly involving many factors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, advances in network technology allow
people
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 to get access to the
products
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product's
products'
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 information easier, making the
advertisement
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 less
attraction
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attractive
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 than before.
For example
Linking Words
, details of many products can be accessed by consumers through their official websites rather than watching their
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advertisement
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advertisements
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. Another reason is that more and more offline stores have been established and they are important channels for
people
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 to learn the goods. The advantages are obvious
,
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apply
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 because these
physic
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physical
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 stores
fulfill
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fulfil
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people
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's
curious
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curiosity
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while
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avoiding
Verb problem
preventing
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 them
to spend
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from spending
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 a lot to buy
the
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apply
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expensive goods.
Besides
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,
people
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 can get information from some product launches as many large companies like Apple and Google, will introduce their new products before they are provided to the market. I think
this
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 is a positive trend which means that
people
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 are more reasonable
to choose
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in choosing
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 their interested goods. Only a few product details that the producers want customers to see can be transmitted by
advertisement
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, which may mislead some
people
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 to buy. The availability of various approaches for
people
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 to acquire product data
facilitate
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facilitates
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 them
selecting
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in selecting
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 the truly helpful items that they really need, without spending some unnecessary fees.
Overall
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, many reasons may lead to less
influences
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influence
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 of
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advertisement
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advertisements
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 on some consumers, and in my view, there are more positive effects than
the
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apply
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negative.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied and complex sentence structures. Link your ideas more clearly with transitional words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the question comprehensively. Expanding on the reasons why advertising is less influential and giving more specific examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on providing more concrete examples to support your main points. Instead of general statements, use specific instances or case studies to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your essay effectively.
task achievement
You tackled both parts of the question, providing reasons for the decreasing influence of advertising and assessing whether it is a positive or negative trend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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