Some people say that the most important thing about being rich is that it gives opportunity to help other people. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

#people #opportunity

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

people

Use synonyms

think that helping

others

Use synonyms

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

foremost thing that they should do if they get richer.

However

Linking Words

, I do not agree with their opinion. It is undeniable that

people

Use synonyms

who possess enormous wealth have more abilities and opportunities to help

others

Use synonyms

. Given their robust financial background, it is

prone

Correct word choice

possible

show examples

for wealthy

people

Use synonyms

to provide their assistance to someone who is in need through setting various

fundings

Fix the agreement mistake

funding

show examples

Although

Linking Words

numerous successful businessmen are willing to support

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others

Use synonyms

after they earn enough

money

Use synonyms

, a majority of

people

Use synonyms

still believe that helping the poor is the obligation of the rich, because their

money

Use synonyms

is accumulated by extorting the ordinary

people

Use synonyms

's toil.

However

Linking Words

, I think other things are

also

Linking Words

crucial for the rich except for giving their aid to

others

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, living a quality of life is the dream that everyone wants to realize,

such

Linking Words

as possessing a bigger house and luxury car It is unlikely for

people

Use synonyms

who have no enough finance to afford these items.

Secondly

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

can allow them to acquire

Change the word

apply

show examples

better education and medical care, which

also

Linking Words

need

Verb problem

requires

show examples

them to invest a lot.

Besides

Linking Words

, investment in some scientific research is another strategy that the rich can spend their

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

on.

show examples

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

important the same as helping other

people

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

investment is critical for the development of scientific technology and human society. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

assistance to other

people

Use synonyms

is an inescapable obligation for wealthy

people

Use synonyms

, but there are

also

Linking Words

some other essential things that are important to do.

Submitted by 649103358 on Sat Sep 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
If a product is good and meets customer needs, then people will buy it, and advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)
The discussion over whether advertising is unnecessary if the product meets customer expectations. In my opinion, we cannot deny that good quality of the product can lead to the higher purchase of buyers. However, I believe that the use of advertiser is still the essential tool to promote their products widely.
5.5
band
A person's worth nowadays seems to judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned value, such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that materialistic things and financial status are crucial in society. Some of them argue and suppose every person should be judged by their originality and values. In this essay, I will give my opinion and express my perspective.
6.5
band
Crime & Punishment Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both of these two views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is sometimes argued that the punishments of a crime should not change for a known crime, and the penalties should remain stable for each type of crime, however, many people say this cannot be true and we should consider the motivation, and the situation of criminals. I believe that instituting a single punishment for each type of crime would be a dogmatic and one-dimensional view towards criminals.
5
band
Grandparents play a big role in bringing up children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevent examples.
Grandparents are valuable assets to the family, providing support and companionship through all of life's challenges. One school of thought claims that grandparents play a crucial role in upbringing offspring. This essay will discuss how it is useful for grandparents, and this will be articulated in forthcoming paragraphs; my perspective will be mentioned in the conclusion.
4.5
band
You have recently returned from an afternoon at your public library, and noticed various negative aspects that could be improved upon. Write a letter to the manager of the public library. In your letter: Describe the poor experience you had Include ideas for what the library should change Explain why you feel the library needs alteration Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: To Whom This May Concern,
To Whom This May Concern,

Some people say that the most important thing about being rich is that it gives opportunity to help other people. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

If a product is good and meets customer needs, then people will buy it, and advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

A person's worth nowadays seems to judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned value, such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Grandparents play a big role in bringing up children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevent examples.