IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction
The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Three diagrams with difference 40
years
,1960,80 and 2000 . In 1960,departments were equally divided .Nearby
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 road
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
centre
,
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
show examples
 and under them farmland and
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
. During the 20
years
 ,there was
change
Add an article
a change
the change
show examples
 in front of
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
.
Shopping
Add an article
The shopping
show examples
centre
 was divided
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
 2 blocks .Cancer
Centre
 and Pharmacy. Farmland was replaced by Nursing School.
Car
park
 and Hospital were
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their place invariably . The next 20
years
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 another change .
Cancer
Correct article usage
The Cancer
show examples
Centre
 which was
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
centre
early
Rephrase
earlier
show examples
,
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 bigger. Took
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 place of Nursing school.
Therefore
 Nursing
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
reduced
Add a missing verb
are reduced
show examples
 in size.
Car
park
 too
came
Add the particle
tocame
show examples
 lessen. Only Hospital and
Car
park
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
. For 40
years
 there
wasn’t
Change the verb form
weren’t
show examples
 many changes,but,difference atten
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, centre, car, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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