Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while others think there are other better way to remain fit. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One of the most discussed issues nowadays is the appearance of people. In order to solve
this
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major recommend going to the
gym
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,
while
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others think that even without a
gym
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people can remain fit. There is no absolute agreement on whether becoming fit should be done by the
gym
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or in another
way
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. Commonly held belief that
gym
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is the most popular and effective
way
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if you want to be in good form. Because there are a very
big
Correct word choice
large
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amount of tools variety for every type of muscle.
For example
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, dumbbells, treadmills and barbells that you can train yourself to own finite.
Furthermore
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, inside
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Correct article usage
the gym
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gym
Add a comma
gym,
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you can order teachers in order to train in the right
way
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.
Moreover
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, inside of
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gym
Add a comma
gym,
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you might meet new friends who will motivate and help you.
On the other hand
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, some people claim that all of
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this thing
Fix the agreement mistake
these things
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I mentioned previously are only for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professionals. They think that being fit easy even without going
gym
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.
For instance
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, doing push-ups, pull-ups and some exercises would help to be fit.
Also
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this
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seems more attractive, since nobody won't pay for the
gym
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. In conclusion, taking all the significant claims mentioned previously I argue that gyms are more significant compared with
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other ways
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way
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. It is granted and a totally positive development. Training in another
way
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is
also
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significantly important because it
also
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has positive effects on your body, appearance and health.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Paragraphs should each have a clear main idea and be well-connected to each other. Make use of cohesive devices and ensure logical flow between your sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay included an introduction and conclusion, which is good practice. However, both could be strengthened to better present the topic and summarise your main points. Work on clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and reinforcing your argument in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You've put forth some main points to support the views, but they need further development. Try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to give weight to your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
While you addressed the topic, the response was not fully complete. Ensure you address all parts of the task thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear opinion.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Focus on clarifying your argument and ensuring your points are well articulated and easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of examples is good, but they should be more relevant and specific to the point being discussed. Aim to include examples that directly support your arguments and enhance the understanding of your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fitness
  • gymnasium
  • equipment
  • workout routine
  • group classes
  • community
  • motivation
  • home workouts
  • sustainable
  • holistic
  • mental well-being
  • diet
  • yoga
  • pilates
  • accessibility
  • financial constraints
  • aerobic exercises
  • cardiovascular health
  • flexibility training
  • strength training
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