IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts illustrate the total production of electricity measured in units and divided by different sources of fuel in Australia and France in the year 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts illustrate the total production of electricity measured in units and divided by different sources of fuel in Australia and France in the year 1980 and 2000.
#production #electricity #units #sources #fuel #australia #france #year
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The pie charts illustrate the total
production
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
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 measured in
units
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 and divided by different sources of fuel in
Australia
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 and
France
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 in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1980 and 2000.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 major fuel sources utilised in
electricity
Use synonyms
production
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 were different in
Australia
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 and
France
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the picture
Australia
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 produced 100
units
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 of
electricity
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 in 1980 and 170
units
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 in 2000
while
Linking Words
 the
production
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 in
France
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 was 90
units
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 and it doubled in the year 2000 in comparison with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
Use synonyms
.The figures were ninety and 180
units
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 respectively.In
Australia
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, coal was the main source of
electricity
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production
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 and half of the total
electricity
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 produced came from coal in 1980.Natural gas and hydropower contributed
of
Change preposition
to
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 producing 20
units
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 of electrical charge
while
Linking Words
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
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 10
units
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Add a missing verb
were wasproduced
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wasproduced
Correct your spelling
produced
 from oil. It could be noticed that the dependency on coal increased in 2000 for electrical energy manufacture,
whereas
Linking Words
 oil and natural gases were very minimally used for generation.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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 in
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France
Add a comma
,France
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 native gas and ember together produced half of the electromagnetism in 1980.The utilise of nuclear power increased significantly in
France
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 in 2000 amounting
126
Change preposition
to 126
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 number in
this
Linking Words
 year compared to the fifteen
units
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 20 years
back
Rephrase
ago
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.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, electricity, units, australia, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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