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Band 2.5

" prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures

#prevention #cure #diseases #measures
Number
Change the article
The number
show examples
 of diseases
have been
Wrong verb form
has
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 increased with
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 passage of
time
 all over the world
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 demands more health care
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
. Emphasizing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
preventive
measures
 could be
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
stumble
Wrong verb form
stumbling
show examples
 on treatments. I strongly believe that preventive
measures
 could prove
inexpensive
Correct quantifier usage
more inexpensive
show examples
 than healing ailments. A good reason to support my opinion is different different frequencies of
doses
 for vaccination and treatments
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Doses
gor
Correct your spelling
of
vacccine
Correct your spelling
vaccine
vaccines
 are less as comparevtobdoses
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 medicine for treatment, vaccination requires only two to four
doses
 per month or a year. Fewer
doses
 of vaccine is a cheaper approach rather treatment because
healing
Correct article usage
the healing
show examples
 process needs a higher subsequent compliance of medicine.
Secondly
, at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 preventive
measures
 give
Correct article usage
a foccused
show examples
foccused
Correct your spelling
focused
 and fearless attitude. It would give confidence to people to live without
hasitation
Correct your spelling
hesitation
 of being sick
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 leads to a productive life.
Last
 but not least results of preventive
measures
 are
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 for years or throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life, so people have to invest only once not every
time
 on being ill. If
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 sure not to be sick every
time
 in
changing
Correct article usage
a changing
show examples
 climate they can work properly and efficiently without
speding
Correct your spelling
spending
speeding
time
 to vist hospitals for their treatment.
It is clear that
 preventive
measures
 are much more affordable. People may vary in opinion but working on prevention can reduce
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 budget.
Submitted by Tehmina  on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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