IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
The given line graph illustrates the link between
age
 and
crime
 rate
while
 the pie chart demonstrates kinds of the criminal actions in the UK for the previous year.
Overall
, it can be seen that adults aged from 16 to 20 have committed
crimes
 more than both younger and older people
while
 the violent type of
crime
 has indicated the highest index compared to other types for
last
 year.
Firstly
, there were no cases of
crime
 between children from 0 to 8 years of
age
.
However
, the quantity of
crimes
 wa began from 8
age
 to 20
age
 and the number of
crimes
was enhanced
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 dramatically from
3 000
Correct your spelling
3,000
 to 80 000.
On the other hand
,
this
 index
started
Add the particle
tostarted
show examples
 fall down steadily from 80 000 to 20 000
crimes
 for 28 ages people. Among the oldest people the number of
crimeshas
Correct your spelling
crimes has
crimes as
a steady drop to 10 000
crimes
 for the 60-year-old.
Secondly
, violent
crime
 has almost half
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 among types of
crime
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
46%.
However
, property
crime
 and drug
crime
 were similar at 23% and 22% respectively.
Finally
, public order
crime
 has a lower percentage in comparison with other types
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 9%.
Submitted by jietohuk18 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, crime, crimes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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