IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Topic: Some sociologists say that, it is a waste of time for students to pursue secondary education for 12 years. It is better to shorten it to 9 years only, then go to vocational school to learn a skill applied in their jobs or go to university to get a degree. To what extent do you agree with this?

#topic #sociologists #waste #time #students #education #years #school #skill #jobs #university
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Many sociologists believe that
,
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apply
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 the secondary 12
years
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 school education is a waste of
time
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, and they agree that it should be reduced to 9
years
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,
i
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I
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totaly
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totally
 agree with the statement and
i
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I
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 will explain my reasons in
this
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 essay. Based on my
experiece
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experience
 from education in a
12
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12-year
years
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 system,
this
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 idea provides a great situation for the children to choose the most suitable job for their future. Decreasing the
time
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 of academic instruction speeds
the
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up the
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 process of
growing
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growth
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from
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in
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 many aspects.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 the idea of 9
years
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school
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of school
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 education
supllies
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supplies
 a
magnificant
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magnificent
invironment
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environment
 for the
indivisuals
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individuals
individual
 to learn more skills and be productive in their
proffesional
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professional
 career.
According to
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 the new
survays
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surveys
survey
,
majourity
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majority
 of people prefer to start their career with a university degree. Many
indivisuals
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individuals
 believe,
getting
Correct word choice
that getting
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 educated in college qualifies them to find a job with more profits
such
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 as
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level of salary and get
pleased
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pleasure
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 in society. The 9
years
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academic
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of academic
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 instruction, gives them more
time
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 to select the most suitable
majour
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major
 and improve the level of their knowledge about their
proffesion
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profession
.
To sum up
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, reducing the
time
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 of academic instruction provides more
time
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 and opportunities in the process of making progress, in
this
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 way, they can be more productive and
helpfull
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helpful
 for their society.
Submitted by shima.majidansari on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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