Topic: Some sociologists say that, it is a waste of time for students to pursue secondary education for 12 years. It is better to shorten it to 9 years only, then go to vocational school to learn a skill applied in their jobs or go to university to get a degree. To what extent do you agree with this?

#topic #sociologists #waste #time #students #education #years #school #skill #jobs #university

Many sociologists believe that

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apply

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the secondary 12

years

school education is a waste of

time

, and they agree that it should be reduced to 9

years

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totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

agree with the statement and

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show examples

will explain my reasons in

this

essay. Based on my

experiece

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experience

from education in a

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12-year

years

system,

this

idea provides a great situation for the children to choose the most suitable job for their future. Decreasing the

time

of academic instruction speeds

the

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up the

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process of

growing

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growth

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from

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many aspects.

For

instance

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,instance

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the idea of 9

years

school

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of school

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education

supllies

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supplies

magnificant

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magnificent

invironment

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environment

for the

indivisuals

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individuals

individual

to learn more skills and be productive in their

proffesional

Correct your spelling

professional

career.

According to

the new

survays

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surveys

survey

majourity

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majority

of people prefer to start their career with a university degree. Many

indivisuals

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individuals

believe,

getting

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that getting

show examples

educated in college qualifies them to find a job with more profits

such

high

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a high

show examples

level of salary and get

pleased

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pleasure

show examples

in society. The 9

years

academic

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of academic

show examples

instruction, gives them more

time

to select the most suitable

majour

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major

and improve the level of their knowledge about their

proffesion

Correct your spelling

profession

To sum up

, reducing the

time

of academic instruction provides more

time

and opportunities in the process of making progress, in

this

way, they can be more productive and

helpfull

Correct your spelling

helpful

for their society.

Submitted by shima.majidansari on Sun Sep 10 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

213 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. To what extent do you agree

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give opinions

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages?