IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
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Despite higher
education
Use synonyms
 in universities
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 essential roles
to make
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in making
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 progress in societies, vocational training for cultivating qualified
workers
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, who ensure a
funcitonal
Correct your spelling
functional
 society, should not be overlooked. Whilst it is inevitable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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incremental competent
workers
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 could provoke various benefits to the world, I could only partially agree with
such
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 opinions
due to
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 various drawbacks derived from
such
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 phenomena. On the one hand, there are advantages to
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
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 vocational training, including
students
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 who could not afford
university
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a university
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education
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, they are able to gain their competitiveness in
short
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a short
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 period of time to find
a
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apply
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better work opportunities,
such
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 as chefs and
constraction
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construction
workers
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. As for
the
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apply
show examples
commercial facilities, vocational training could help employees have
better
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a better
show examples
 understanding of policy and procedures, providing
a
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an
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 efficient and safe working environment.
For instance
Linking Words
, educators will ensure electricians know how to prevent potential hazards
as well as
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 the methods to address certain problems based on previous incidents.
On the other hand
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, the downside of promoting vocational training should not be overlooked. First of all, it could reduce the support from
government
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the government
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 to help poor
students
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persuading
Verb problem
pursue
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 higher
education
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 in universities, since they have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 chance
to find
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of finding
show examples
 a job by doing vocational training.
Secondly
Linking Words
, unlike vocational training which
focus
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focuses
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 on cultivating competent
workers
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,
university
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a university
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education
Use synonyms
 allows
students
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 to gain
criticisise
Correct your spelling
critical
 thinking and have more options to develop better careers. To
summerise
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summarise
show examples
, it is inevitable that vocational training could benefit both individuals and societies
,
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apply
show examples
 since it could enhance the quality of working performance,
along with
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 it, provide
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better job opportunities for
students
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.
However
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, the cons provoked
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
such
Linking Words
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
 should not be overlooked since it could reduce the chance for young individuals to have higher
education
Use synonyms
 in universities.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training
  • skilled labor
  • practical skills
  • job market
  • economic benefits
  • unemployment rates
  • job-ready
  • educational debt
  • societal stigma
  • balanced workforce
  • career satisfaction
  • technical trades
  • university education
  • employment opportunities
  • hands-on experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: