IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
#aim #science #people #lives
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It is often argued that the significant purpose of
science
Use synonyms
 should
to
Add a missing verb
be to
show examples
 change
people
Use synonyms
’s
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. I absolutely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
science
Use synonyms
serve
Change the verb form
serves
show examples
 as
a sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
a source
sources
show examples
 of knowledge and its invention. Nowadays,
science
Use synonyms
 has
main
Correct article usage
a main
show examples
 role in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 field as a
sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
source
show examples
 of knowledge.
In other words
Linking Words
,
science
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 shall
be render
Change the verb form
be rendered
show examples
contribute
Fix the infinitive
to contribute
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 to
people
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 by educating them with valuable theories in varied
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 which can lead them to develop
Correct article usage
the potentials
show examples
potentials
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potential
show examples
 that they have.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
people
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 will have an
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 quality of
life
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
medical students have been learning about human disease.
As a
Linking Words
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
show examples
 the student will have a good skill to analyse human’s ailment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the invention of
science
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 can make an improvement in
people
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’s
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 will bring
people
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 to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a new cycle of
life
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.
Moreover
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, it
also
Linking Words
make
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makes
show examples
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do something easier.
For instance
Linking Words
 : in the past
people
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 used to
be used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 traditional medicine to heal
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disease,
however
Linking Words
, now
people
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 tend to consume medicine from
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the development of
science
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 in
medicine
Replace the word
the medical
show examples
 field. Meanwhile, sometimes the aim of
science
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make
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
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 explore and try anything that
regard
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regards
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any development of
science
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, and
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
people
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 will be
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the development.
To sum up
Linking Words
, a
common
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commonly
show examples
 held
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
aim
Correct article usage
the aim
show examples
 of
science
Use synonyms
 make
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 an improvement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their knowledge and their inventions of
science
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. I wholeheartedly support
this
Linking Words
 perspective that
science
Use synonyms
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a big impact and
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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structure
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each section should be clearly distinguishable and serve its own purpose.
coherence
Link your main points with clear and coherent arguments. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without logical explanation or transition.
supporting arguments
Support your main points with clear and specific examples. Examples should be directly relevant to the point being made and should enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
task completion
Ensure that you completely address the task prompt. Include a clear statement of your main idea (thesis) and cover all aspects of the question throughout your essay.
clarity
Improve the clarity of your ideas by organizing them better and using clear language. Avoid ambiguous statements and ensure your ideas are thoroughly expounded upon.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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