The graph below show the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country

The graph below show the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country
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The line graph illustrates the percentage of Paper &
cardboard
Correct word choice
and cardboard
show examples
,
Glass
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containers
Use synonyms
, Aluminium
cans
Use synonyms
and Plastics recycled between 1982
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
2010 in a specific region.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is observed that
reprocess
Correct article usage
the reprocess
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
is increased for all the four materials considered
however
Linking Words
Aluminum
cans
Use synonyms
recycling
rate
Use synonyms
was increased by
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
percentage.
To begin
Linking Words
with, both Paper &
cardboard
Correct word choice
and cardboard
show examples
and
Glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
showed
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
multiple variations over the period considered.
Initially
Linking Words
,in 1982 Paper &
cardboard
Correct word choice
and cardboard
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
was 65% and
further
Linking Words
it presented an increase and decrease in the subsequent years and
finally
Linking Words
resulted in 70% in 2010 which is 5% greater than the value from 1982.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Glass
Correct article usage
the Glass
show examples
containers
Use synonyms
' process
rate
Use synonyms
in 1982
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
50% and it decreased
untill
Correct your spelling
until
1990 and gave
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increased trend till 2010 when the percentage was 50.
Finally
Linking Words
, Aluminium
Cans
Use synonyms
and Plastics had shown a
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
trend of addition of the next year compared to
those prevoius year
Change the determiner
that prevoius year
those prevoius years
show examples
.In the year 1986,
Aluminium
Correct article usage
the Aluminium
show examples
cans
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
was 5% and in 2010 it was 45%. In the same
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
Glass
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
containers
Change noun form
container's
containers'
show examples
value was 5% in 1990 and was about 10% in 2010.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, containers, cans, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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