The graph below show the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country

#show #proportion #four #materials #country

The line graph illustrates the percentage of Paper &

cardboard

Correct word choice

and cardboard

show examples

Glass

containers

, Aluminium

cans

and Plastics recycled between 1982

Correct word choice

and

show examples

2010 in a specific region.

Overall

, it is observed that

reprocess

Correct article usage

the reprocess

show examples

rate

is increased for all the four materials considered

however

Aluminum

cans

recycling

rate

was increased by

greater

Add an article

a greater

show examples

percentage.

To begin

with, both Paper &

cardboard

Correct word choice

and cardboard

show examples

and

Glass

containers

showed

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

multiple variations over the period considered.

Initially

,in 1982 Paper &

cardboard

Correct word choice

and cardboard

show examples

rate

was 65% and

further

it presented an increase and decrease in the subsequent years and

finally

resulted in 70% in 2010 which is 5% greater than the value from 1982.

Similarly

Glass

Correct article usage

the Glass

show examples

containers

' process

rate

in 1982

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

50% and it decreased

untill

Correct your spelling

until

1990 and gave

Change the article

show examples

increased trend till 2010 when the percentage was 50.

Finally

, Aluminium

Cans

and Plastics had shown a

similiar

Correct your spelling

similar

trend of addition of the next year compared to

those prevoius year

Change the determiner

that prevoius year

those prevoius years

show examples

.In the year 1986,

Aluminium

Correct article usage

the Aluminium

show examples

cans

rate

was 5% and in 2010 it was 45%. In the same

way

Add a comma

,way

show examples

Glass

containers

Change noun form

container's

containers'

show examples

value was 5% in 1990 and was about 10% in 2010.

Submitted by kavitha7797 on Mon Sep 11 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, containers, cans, rate with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

183 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below show the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an satisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

In today’s world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time Others belive that it is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply Discuss both views and give your opinion

You have recently moved into a new house. You want to tell your friend about the good news. Write to your friend. In the letter: describe the house, describe the neighbourhood, invite your friend to come and see the house.