The graph below show the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country
The line graph illustrates the percentage of Paper &
cardboard
, Correct word choice
and cardboard
Glass
Use synonyms
containers
, Aluminium Use synonyms
cans
and Plastics recycled between 1982 Use synonyms
to
2010 in a specific region. Correct word choice
and
Overall
, it is observed that Linking Words
reprocess
Correct article usage
the reprocess
rate
is increased for all the four materials considered Use synonyms
however
Aluminum Linking Words
cans
recycling Use synonyms
rate
was increased by Use synonyms
greater
percentage.
Add an article
a greater
To begin
with, both Paper & Linking Words
cardboard
and Correct word choice
and cardboard
Glass
Use synonyms
containers
showed Use synonyms
a
multiple variations over the period considered. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Initially
,in 1982 Paper & Linking Words
cardboard
Correct word choice
and cardboard
rate
was 65% and Use synonyms
further
it presented an increase and decrease in the subsequent years and Linking Words
finally
resulted in 70% in 2010 which is 5% greater than the value from 1982. Linking Words
Similarly
, Linking Words
Use synonyms
Glass
Correct article usage
the Glass
containers
' process Use synonyms
rate
in 1982 Use synonyms
is
50% and it decreased Wrong verb form
was
untill
1990 and gave Correct your spelling
until
a
increased trend till 2010 when the percentage was 50.
Change the article
an
Finally
, Aluminium Linking Words
Cans
and Plastics had shown a Use synonyms
similiar
trend of addition of the next year compared to Correct your spelling
similar
those prevoius year
.In the year 1986, Change the determiner
that prevoius year
those prevoius years
Aluminium
Correct article usage
the Aluminium
cans
Use synonyms
rate
was 5% and in 2010 it was 45%. In the same Use synonyms
way
Add a comma
,way
Glass
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
containers
value was 5% in 1990 and was about 10% in 2010.Change noun form
container's
containers'
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, containers, cans, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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