IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that
science
Use synonyms
 and
contiuous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 scientific research are essential for our
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the main purpose of
science
Use synonyms
 is to improve
people
Use synonyms
’s
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why I disagree up to some extent with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I believe that using various sections of
science
Use synonyms
 to focus on saving our environment is far more crucial than increasing the welfare of
people
Use synonyms
 up to a point. We all know that
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
our planet is suffering from pollution resulting from advances in other sectors which may be not essential in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
 industries in the field of energy are still using methods that are detrimental to the environment, increasing the carbon footprint.
Therefore
Linking Words
, using
science
Use synonyms
 to find new effective ways to produce more clean energy.
As if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 we continue to use these methods to produce energy,
this
Linking Words
 may lead to the destruction of our own planet and even our extinction.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
propeling
Correct your spelling
propelling
 most of our scientific efforts towards only making
people
Use synonyms
’s life
easiesr
Correct your spelling
easier
 and easier may have negative impacts.
This
Linking Words
 may lead to making
people
Use synonyms
 more
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on technology ,and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
this
Linking Words
 may lead to
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 health issues
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, making the humanforce less productive.
This
Linking Words
 is by no means a message to stop using
science
Use synonyms
 to improve
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, but we
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
 take into consideration the
possibile
Correct your spelling
possible
 outcomes from doing so. In conclusion, as directing
science
Use synonyms
 into saving our environment is a more
wothiful
Correct your spelling
worshipful
 goal and considering the negative results of
science
Use synonyms
 on
peoples’s
Correct your spelling
people’s
show examples
 lives, I do not completely agree using
science
Use synonyms
 mainly to serve the welfare of
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ahmedelatar363 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: