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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 word

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers #🔸discuss #word
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Issues related to successful people are frequently discussed these days.
Although
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 some believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most wealthy, others criticize
this
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 and argue that
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society are the most outstanding. The two sides of
this
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 argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of reasons why high paid
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 should be defined as perfect
persons
Replace the word
people
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 the principal reason is that money is one of the most important factors
to
Change preposition
in
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live
Replace the word
life
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.
For instance
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, when we get sick, we need to pay for the medicine and
doctor
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doctor's
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 bills. There
is
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are
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 many expenses in our daily activities related to payment.
Thus
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,
high salary
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high-salary
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 people can be called
as
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apply
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the most successful.
On the other hand
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, some opponents may argue that the top contributors in
community
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the community
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 are the most successful. Take educational tutors and teachers, devoting their
life
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lives
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, to
nurture
Wrong verb form
nurturing
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 their students to be the best of themselves as an example. In
this
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 case, the priceless action
makes
Verb problem
is
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 effective.
Similarly
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, Thomas Edison who
trail
Correct your spelling
trial
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 and error until he
become
Wrong verb form
became
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 the first person who create lamps for all of us.
Thus
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, he should be the most respectful man
base
Replace the word
based
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 on his global duty. To summarise, the two
point
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points
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 of
views
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view
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 of the argument concerning
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 humans
based
Add a missing verb
are based
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 on their actions. I am of the opinion that the person who
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 the common interest is the most successful individual.
Submitted by nine318 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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