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Band 3.5

Some people think that excessive use of smartphone badly affects teenager’s literacy skills.

#people #smartphone #teenager’s #literacy #skills
In
modern
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the modern
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 world, some people suppose that the extreme use of
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 can have bad effects on adolescent’s education. I totally agree with
this
 statement because it can lead to both worse physical and mental health for
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 adequate
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 of causing physical disease which
are
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is
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 substantial. The
top – notch
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top–notch
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 concrete reason is mobile
phone
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phones
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 cause
the
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apply
show examples
serious danger
for
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to
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 children’s eyes. Most
of
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apply
show examples
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the student
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student
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students
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 are addicted to
use
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using
show examples
Add an article
a smart
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smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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phone
, so they have
a
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apply
show examples
prone to get eye
disease
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diseases
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namedly
Correct your spelling
namely
named
 nearsightedness and astigmatism, causing
obstacle
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obstacles
show examples
 in learning. Another pivotal aspect is they seem to spend their sleep time
for
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apply
show examples
using it, leading to
decline
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a decline
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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body function.
Therefore
,
student
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a student
the student
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 can’t totally concentrate
in
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on
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 their study. The rearmost conherent factor to be considered which can not be neglected is Using too
much
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many phones
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phone
 causes psychological diseases. In the current world,
smartphone
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smartphones
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 hold the most vital position in teenager’s mental life.
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
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 are obsessed with the game
especially
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,especially
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violence
Replace the word
violent
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 games. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that
student
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students
show examples
 can be hallucinated and even lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consciousness.
For example
, in Vietnam, there are many children
embark
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who embark
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 on criminal life
due to
 addiction to
game
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games
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.
Thus
,
this
 can have
serious
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a serious
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 effect on the children’s education. To culminate, I reiterate that there are plenty of strong factors supporting
for
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apply
show examples
this
 statement.
Teenager
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Teenagers
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 should set a schedule for
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and use
telephone
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the telephone
a telephone
show examples
 in
effective
Change the article
an effective
show examples
 way.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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