Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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Nowadays, crime is a serious problem in our society. Some individuals believe that the best approach to decrease the number of crimes is to extend the period of imprisonment.

On the other hand

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, the others are of the option that other strategies can work better. Prolonging the jail sentence causes people to be afraid of losing their freedom for a long time even on a small illegal act.

For example

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, a person who stole a watch would cause him to be sent to prison for five years.

This

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longer sentencing would make them consider twice before they did it. Despite that,

this

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could only be effective on a particular group of people but not all of them. The reason is that lengthy punishment does not deal with the cause of crime. Most criminals commit crimes because they have financial problems and cannot support their families.

Hence

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, they will do it again after the sentence since they still face the same problem of shortage of money.

Therefore

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, education is a better way to solve

this

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issue. Our community should be well-educated since they are young. They would be equipped with knowledge, skills and moral values.

Thus

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, they can get a good job with a high income to sustain their families.

For instance

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, a dentist earns a lot of money in a year and allows them to enjoy a high standard of living without stealing or robbing others.

Besides

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that, moral lessons would allow an individual to differentiate between lawful and unlawful actions and what should be avoided. In conclusion, it is evident that a longer jail sentence is not the best approach to reducing crime. Some other measures should be considered and take action to address

this

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problem.

StephMon Sep 11 2023

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task response

The essay addresses both views on reducing crime, but take care to provide a more balanced argument by giving equal attention to each viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

The essay shows a good logical structure and presents clear main points. However, make sure to link ideas more explicitly and use a wider range of cohesive devices for better coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Your opinion

Playing too many video games can lead to decreased physical activity and social interaction, which can have negative effects on overall health. Do you agree or disagree?

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that having a pet in the home, such as a dog or a cat, during a child’s first years of life is beneficial to that child’s development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this belief?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree.

TSome people believe that one of the best ways to solve environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?