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Writing Samples
Band 6

Topic : In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#topic #societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members
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It is said that some
people
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 have the idea that normally old
people
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 move to retirement
homes
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,
while
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 other
people
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 think that it is not worthwhile for their family to do so. In my opinion, I probably disagree with
this
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 topic and
also
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 I guess there are lots of perspectives. I'm going to discuss deeply
this
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 topic in my essay below. In terms of the disagreement,
It is clear that
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 house services for humans for many years are able to give high quality to these members. By spending there, they can have healthy food and take care by supporting professional staff.
In addition
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, elderly
people
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 might create new communities in retirement
homes
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, and by doing so, they obtain another concern and much time is taken these interest by them. It is
also
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 another benefit of gaining new community groups, they are able to talk a lot and hold discussions whenever they want.
This
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 action is vital for a person's brain health. Regarding the opposing opinion which is ought to live in real
homes
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 with their families, which holds some advantages. Consuming the figure of time with family have two merit for old citizens. By doing so, they are able to share the number of episodes, which is being worthwhile period and it is essential for the person to have some conversation with
people
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 who are well known during human life. For these reasons, I believe that
this
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 issue has a range of viewpoints,
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however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I believe it is better for
people
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 to be taken care of at retirement
homes
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 when they are not working.
Submitted by kanami552662 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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