Topic : In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#topic #societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members

It is said that some

people

have the idea that normally old

people

move to retirement

homes

while

other

people

think that it is not worthwhile for their family to do so. In my opinion, I probably disagree with

this

topic and

also

I guess there are lots of perspectives. I'm going to discuss deeply

this

topic in my essay below. In terms of the disagreement,

It is clear that

house services for humans for many years are able to give high quality to these members. By spending there, they can have healthy food and take care by supporting professional staff.

In addition

, elderly

people

might create new communities in retirement

homes

, and by doing so, they obtain another concern and much time is taken these interest by them. It is

also

another benefit of gaining new community groups, they are able to talk a lot and hold discussions whenever they want.

This

action is vital for a person's brain health. Regarding the opposing opinion which is ought to live in real

homes

with their families, which holds some advantages. Consuming the figure of time with family have two merit for old citizens. By doing so, they are able to share the number of episodes, which is being worthwhile period and it is essential for the person to have some conversation with

people

who are well known during human life. For these reasons, I believe that

this

issue has a range of viewpoints,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

I believe it is better for

people

to be taken care of at retirement

homes

when they are not working.

Submitted by kanami552662 on Mon Sep 11 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic : In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

some people think government should invest more money in teachin science than other subjects in order for a country to develope and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or college than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?