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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of international migrants in five countries between 2000 and 2020. The table shows the percentage of migrants in each country's population in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of international migrants in five countries between 2000 and 2020. The table shows the percentage of migrants in each country's population in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graphs give information about how many people went to live in another country in several nations from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Grmany
Correct your spelling
Germany
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 and the USA had the most immigrants and the
number
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 2020,
while
Linking Words
 in India and
Russia
Add a comma
,Russia
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of immigrants
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in the
UK
Use synonyms
 the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who went there was 5
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in 2020 doubled. The USA had the largest
number
Use synonyms
 in both years, in 2000 was 35
million
Use synonyms
 and
2020
Change preposition
in 2020
show examples
 was 50
million
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 Germany had
went
Change the verb form
gone
show examples
 up around 20% in 2000
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
9
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in 2020 was 11
million
Use synonyms
. India has the
lowset
Correct your spelling
lowest
show examples
immigrants
Correct quantifier usage
number of immigrants
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 those countries, in 2000 the
number
Use synonyms
 was 6
million
Use synonyms
 and in 2020 was
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 to 5
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in Russia was almost the
sam
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
 in both years.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 national population in 2020,
Gernany
Correct your spelling
Germany
 had the highest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 (14.7) the second is the
UK
Use synonyms
 (14%),
while
Linking Words
 in the USA lower
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 (5%) ad in Russia was (8.1%), the
last
Linking Words
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
lowest country is India the ratio lower than 1 per cent.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, number, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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