In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount

Nowadays, some

people

deserve high

salaries

because of their curriculum vitae. It is considered by many that gaining a high annual income is good for the country.

In contrast

, some

people

think it affects the

countries

economy

in a negative way. In my opinion, a high salary is the best way to keep the

people

who gain high

salaries

in the country, and I support

this

idea

. On the one hand, many

people

's thoughts are supportive of high

salaries

. Those, who gain high

salaries

have creative and productive attitudes, which adds

Rephrase

apply

show examples

many advantages to

countries

Replace the word

the country's

show examples

economy

Countries

economy

Fix the agreement mistake

economies

show examples

expand with the help of

people

, which

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

add considerable benefits to society and

also

the

economy

, and these

people

deserve higher

salaries

to keep their motivation

Change preposition

show examples

a positive level.

For instance

, Apple and Microsoft have excellent profits

due to

their co-workers. Behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

success, the companies give high incomes to their co-workers to give them a goal that

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

the companies'

salaries

On the other hand

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

think the equality between

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

colleagues is

degradated

Correct your spelling

degraded

by high

salaries

This

situation may cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad relationships between

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

co-workers.

As a result

of that, some think the government has to limit the

salaries

for keeping

Change preposition

to keep

show examples

the peace of work. In my opinion,

although

this

idea

comes from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equality,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equality is not ensured by

this

idea

On the other hand

, high

salaries

provide to keep the

people

who are excellent in their professions in their country. In a nutshell, I support the

idea

that

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

great benefit for the

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

future.

Submitted by barisberkay97 on Tue Sep 12 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealth inequality
economic growth
motivation
talent acquisition
consumer spending
tax revenue
redistributing wealth
market forces
income disparity
social stability
freedom of choice
meritocracy

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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that cities should allow for spaces for graffiti while others feel it should be banned. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The use of social media is replacing face to face interaction among many people in society. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.