In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, some
people
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deserve high
salaries
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because of their curriculum vitae. It is considered by many that gaining a high annual income is good for the country.
In contrast
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, some
people
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think it affects the
countries
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'
economy
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in a negative way. In my opinion, a high salary is the best way to keep the
people
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who gain high
salaries
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in the country, and I support
this
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idea
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. On the one hand, many
people
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's thoughts are supportive of high
salaries
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. Those, who gain high
salaries
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have creative and productive attitudes, which adds
so
Rephrase
apply
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many advantages to
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countries
Replace the word
the country's
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economy
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.
Countries
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'
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economy
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economies
show examples
expand with the help of
people
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, which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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add considerable benefits to society and
also
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the
economy
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, and these
people
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deserve higher
salaries
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to keep their motivation
in
Change preposition
at
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a positive level.
For instance
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, Apple and Microsoft have excellent profits
due to
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their co-workers. Behind
of
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apply
show examples
this
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success, the companies give high incomes to their co-workers to give them a goal that
increase
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increases
show examples
the companies'
salaries
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.
On the other hand
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,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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think the equality between
the
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apply
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colleagues is
degradated
Correct your spelling
degraded
by high
salaries
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.
This
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situation may cause
the
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apply
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bad relationships between
the
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apply
show examples
co-workers.
As a result
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of that, some think the government has to limit the
salaries
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for keeping
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to keep
show examples
the peace of work. In my opinion,
although
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,
this
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idea
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comes from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equality,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equality is not ensured by
this
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idea
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.
On the other hand
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, high
salaries
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provide to keep the
people
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who are excellent in their professions in their country. In a nutshell, I support the
idea
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that
high
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a high
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salary is
the
Correct article usage
a
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great benefit for the
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countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
future.
Submitted by barisberkay97 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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