In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems at a result of eating too much fast food. It is there for necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

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Eating too much fast
food
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does lead to
health
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problems
however
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, in an attempt to discourage
people
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from eating those foods, increasing
taxes
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on
such
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items does not seem to be the right way. If government increases
taxes
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on products that are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
the
people
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I believe
people
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will not accept it. Most daily use products, not only
food
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, harms
people
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in one way or another. If
taxes
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are imposed on fast
food
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, someday it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
become a luxurious
food
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that
average
Correct article usage
the average
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person would not be able to afford. I believe humans learn from their mistakes. When a person faces,
for example
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,
health
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issues that person himself starts avoiding fast
food
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and takes steps towards a healthier diet. Despite
this
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, I
also
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believe
people
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after some time return to old habits. In my opinion, the proper way would be to spread
awareness
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and constantly remind
people
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, and that too not in the same manner for an extended period of time. Spread
awareness
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, just like on cigarette boxes, by showing
people
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the consequences but, after a long spell the method should be changed as it starts getting ignored.
Furthermore
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, good
health
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should be promoted through events
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, giving
people
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rewards for fitness or discounts on stores
according to
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how they perform in an activity. It could be
push ups
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push-ups
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, running or weight lifting.
Additionally
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,
health
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should
also
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be promoted through promotional events
such
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as free medical tests to spread
awareness
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.
In addition
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to the tests, children should be taught about
health
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in school, either by teachers or by staff from a hospital.
This
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is because, I have seen that children who learn something and grow up acting on it,
such
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as traffic rules, teach others as well.
To sum up
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, I do not agree with
raise of
Wrong verb form
raising
show examples
taxes
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being a solution to a problem even if it is for the betterment of the public, it should be done through spreading
awareness
Use synonyms
.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Chronic diseases
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Sin tax
  • Subsidize
  • Affordability
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Paternalism
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Industry lobbying
  • Public health initiatives
  • Consumer behavior
  • Regulatory measures
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Fiscal policy
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Behavioral economics
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