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Band 5.5

the bar graph below shows basic information about usses of leisure time among different age groups.

the bar graph below shows basic information about usses of leisure time among different age groups.
#bar #information #usses #leisure #time #age #groups
the
Capitalize word
The
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 bar chart presents basic data about uses of free
time
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of three different categories including reading, computing (
leisure
 use), and sport and exercise among three groups of
age
, namely 13-19
years
 old, 20-65
years
 old, and over 66
years
 old.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
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,
people
 who are
in
Change preposition
between
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 the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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from
Change preposition
of
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 20 to 65 have the most
leisure
time
 at
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
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. Over 66
years
 old
people
 have the least
leisure
time
.
there
Capitalize word
There
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 is a difference in
leisure
time
 uses among the three groups of
age
. 13-
19
Correct your spelling
19-year-old
years
 old
people
 use their weekend free
time
 to use
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
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as well as
 play sports and exercise at about 60 minutes per day for each
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
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.
People
 who are
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 20 to 65 mostly spend nearly 120 minutes in their
leisure
time
 playing sports and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 exercise. Those over 66
years
 old tend to spend more
time
 reading with 60 minutes per weekend day.
Submitted by viethoangnguyen0611 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, leisure, age, years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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