IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the bar graph below shows basic information about usses of leisure time among different age groups.

the bar graph below shows basic information about usses of leisure time among different age groups.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
 bar chart presents basic data about uses of free
time
Use synonyms
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of three different categories including reading, computing (
leisure
Use synonyms
 use), and sport and exercise among three groups of
age
Use synonyms
, namely 13-19
years
Use synonyms
 old, 20-65
years
Use synonyms
 old, and over 66
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 20 to 65 have the most
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 at
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
show examples
. Over 66
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 have the least
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.
there
Capitalize word
There
show examples
 is a difference in
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 uses among the three groups of
age
Use synonyms
. 13-
19
Correct your spelling
19-year-old
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 use their weekend free
time
Use synonyms
 to use
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 play sports and exercise at about 60 minutes per day for each
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 who are
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 20 to 65 mostly spend nearly 120 minutes in their
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 playing sports and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 exercise. Those over 66
years
Use synonyms
 old tend to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 reading with 60 minutes per weekend day.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, leisure, age, years, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: