4.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

It is true that some feel that pupils learning instruments, painting, and acting are as crucial as other

subjects

, especially in primary

schools

. In

this

essay, I will explain why I tend to agree with

this

suggestion. I concede that there are some reasons why people think that other

subjects

like art, music and drama are not as important as courses like mathematics and science, and perhaps the most obvious one is these

subjects

are not related to their score to enter privileged secondary

schools

. When

children

finish their primary school, they apply for secondary

schools

based on their performance which mainly

associates

Wrong verb form

associated

show examples

with the score of core curriculums

such

as languages and mathematics, in turn making them only pay attention to these

subjects

and ignore others. What

this

does is make it potentially extremely detrimental.

For example

, my niece Lily, who is a primary school student, devotes her time to learning languages, enabling her to be recruited by a renowned foreign language school, and

this

suggests that it is more vital to learn core

subjects

than others.

However

, I believe that music and art are as important as core

subjects

. One compelling reason is that art-related

subjects

can help

children

develop their creative thinking which is the most important skill in today’s fast-changing world. If people study art, music and drama, they may well earn a living by being artists, musicians or actors, and

this

secures them from losing jobs that could be replaced by AI in the near future and is absolutely beneficial. Another reason is that

children

at an early age should be fully developed in every aspect to discover their talent. Many

children

in China, are training in different types of extra-curricular

subjects

. As

such

, some parents may notice that their

children

have potential in specific fields and send them to related

schools

to maximize their career prospect, which is why learning other

subjects

are

also

important ,especially at a primary level. In conclusion, I feel, that learning art-related

subjects

is as essential as other

subjects

for the reasons above.

Submitted by 15219169 on Wed Sep 13 2023

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task response

Ensure that you fully address the essay prompt and provide a balanced argument for both sides of the issue. Use topic sentences to introduce each main point and provide specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively summarize the main points of the essay. Work on maintaining coherence within and between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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4.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that the effective way to reduce industrial pollution is to tax the companies which cause these types of pollution. others think that there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is an appropriate use of government money?

Some people think that children should start school very early. Some people think they should start at least when they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that as nuclear technology threatens the peace of the world, it should be restricted.