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4.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level
It is true that some feel that pupils learning instruments, painting, and acting are as crucial as other
subjects
, especially in primary
schools
. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I tend to agree with
this
 suggestion. I concede that there are some reasons why people think that other
subjects
 like art, music and drama are not as important as courses like mathematics and science, and perhaps the most obvious one is these
subjects
 are not related to their score to enter privileged secondary
schools
. When
children
 finish their primary school, they apply for secondary
schools
 based on their performance which mainly
associates
Wrong verb form
associated
show examples
 with the score of core curriculums
such
 as languages and mathematics, in turn making them only pay attention to these
subjects
 and ignore others. What
this
 does is make it potentially extremely detrimental.
For example
, my niece Lily, who is a primary school student, devotes her time to learning languages, enabling her to be recruited by a renowned foreign language school, and
this
 suggests that it is more vital to learn core
subjects
 than others.
However
, I believe that music and art are as important as core
subjects
. One compelling reason is that art-related
subjects
 can help
children
 develop their creative thinking which is the most important skill in today’s fast-changing world. If people study art, music and drama, they may well earn a living by being artists, musicians or actors, and
this
 secures them from losing jobs that could be replaced by AI in the near future and is absolutely beneficial. Another reason is that
children
 at an early age should be fully developed in every aspect to discover their talent. Many
children
 in China, are training in different types of extra-curricular
subjects
. As
such
, some parents may notice that their
children
 have potential in specific fields and send them to related
schools
 to maximize their career prospect, which is why learning other
subjects
 are
also
 important ,especially at a primary level. In conclusion, I feel, that learning art-related
subjects
 is as essential as other
subjects
 for the reasons above.
Submitted by 15219169 on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address the essay prompt and provide a balanced argument for both sides of the issue. Use topic sentences to introduce each main point and provide specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively summarize the main points of the essay. Work on maintaining coherence within and between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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