4.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

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It is true that some feel that pupils learning instruments, painting, and acting are as crucial as other

subjects

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, especially in primary

schools

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why I tend to agree with

this

Linking Words

suggestion. I concede that there are some reasons why people think that other

subjects

Use synonyms

like art, music and drama are not as important as courses like mathematics and science, and perhaps the most obvious one is these

subjects

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are not related to their score to enter privileged secondary

schools

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. When

children

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finish their primary school, they apply for secondary

schools

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based on their performance which mainly

associates

Wrong verb form

associated

show examples

with the score of core curriculums

such

Linking Words

as languages and mathematics, in turn making them only pay attention to these

subjects

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and ignore others. What

this

Linking Words

does is make it potentially extremely detrimental.

For example

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, my niece Lily, who is a primary school student, devotes her time to learning languages, enabling her to be recruited by a renowned foreign language school, and

this

Linking Words

suggests that it is more vital to learn core

subjects

Use synonyms

than others.

However

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, I believe that music and art are as important as core

subjects

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. One compelling reason is that art-related

subjects

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can help

children

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develop their creative thinking which is the most important skill in today’s fast-changing world. If people study art, music and drama, they may well earn a living by being artists, musicians or actors, and

this

Linking Words

secures them from losing jobs that could be replaced by AI in the near future and is absolutely beneficial. Another reason is that

children

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at an early age should be fully developed in every aspect to discover their talent. Many

children

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in China, are training in different types of extra-curricular

subjects

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. As

such

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, some parents may notice that their

children

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have potential in specific fields and send them to related

schools

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to maximize their career prospect, which is why learning other

subjects

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are

also

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important ,especially at a primary level. In conclusion, I feel, that learning art-related

subjects

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is as essential as other

subjects

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for the reasons above.

Submitted by 15219169 on Wed Sep 13 2023

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task response

Ensure that you fully address the essay prompt and provide a balanced argument for both sides of the issue. Use topic sentences to introduce each main point and provide specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively summarize the main points of the essay. Work on maintaining coherence within and between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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4.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students. Nowadays, new technology is increasingly used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their lives. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?