IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

#someone #luck
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that
people
 mostly achieve their goals
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 a question of luck.
Due to
 fact that in the present
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 there are a
lot
 of youngsters who
are reach
Change the verb form
are reaching
show examples
 their goals in the young ages. Now
people
 are beginning to realize a
lot
 of achievements of other
people
. Personally, I
am disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
 with
this
 statement.
Hence
, I will write about my decision for
this
 statement.
Firstly
, it is well known that nowadays
people
 become more productive despite their young ages. What I mean here is that teenagers and other young age
people
 are
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 their own aims a
lot
 more in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the past century. One of the main reasons behind
that is
hard-working
Correct word choice
hard
show examples
, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what it is looks like unrealistic. A good case in point is teenagers of the present time, who are more confident
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their actions.
On the other hand
, it can
also
 be argued that
people
 can not see the tough way, which they pass through tears and pain.
That is
 to say
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
someone
Change noun form
people's
show examples
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
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is seems
Wrong verb form
seem
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like
Change preposition
apply
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impossible for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others, so it seems like they reach their aims only by a question of luck. Take
for example
 successful and young millionaires who's achievements
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 like impossible for others. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that a
lot
 of
people
 achieve their aims because
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 hardworking and productive skills, which is the only way to reach our goals.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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