IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #college #university #career #path #work #gain #life #school
Nowadays, many youngsters prefer to get a job after completing their school
studies
while
 others want to continue their
studies
 to achieve higher degrees. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 if people do higher
studies
then
 they would be more qualified and always be one step
forward
Rephrase
apply
show examples
ahead
then
 others. On the one hand, many people cannot afford for highest qualifications.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days , Universities get a good amount of money as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fees from students So, some students are not able to pay their fees .
In addition
, many scholars achieve good scores in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 school
studies
 which might help them to get
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and their salaries might be
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as comparable to those who have higher degrees .
Thus
 , they stop their
studies
 and work hard and gain experience which may help them in future.
On the other hand
 , most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies hire
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
persons who are more qualified and
those
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have more documents . Because of
this
 reason, Many prefer to continue their higher
studies
 and able to get good salaries. In conclusion,
although
, youngsters who have good knowledge and skills
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might get good jobs , students who are
master
Fix the agreement mistake
masters
show examples
 in
studies
are always prefer
Change the verb form
are always preferred
show examples
 first than others.
Submitted by rajnibansal20194 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: