IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Cybercrime has become a serious problem in the modern world, affecting millions of people and businesses yearly. Why is this and what can be done to prevent or reduce this problem

#cybercrime #world #millions #people #businesses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades, cybercrime has grown into importance to the public and entrepreneurs
due to
Linking Words
 the rapid development of the Internet.
Although
Linking Words
 there will be undoubtedly negative influences of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, societies can take some measures
accordingly
Linking Words
 to deter
this
Linking Words
 issue. With the global widespread adoption of the Internet, several related problems can be anticipated. One of the compelling reasons is that online users overlook the importance of keeping their personal virtual identities when accessing different browsers. Taking online purchases as an example, online shoppers are willing to provide their credit card details to the website without concern or hesitation about whether or not their information is guaranteed to be kept confidential.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the low quality of system security displayed by organizations leads to the potentiality of identity stolen, privacy
violated
Replace the word
violation
show examples
 and
committing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fraud. There are several actions that could be taken into consideration to tackle the concerns given above.
Firstly
Linking Words
, governments should raise the awareness of citizens regarding the seriousness of online criminals as they might get an attack on personal information at any time.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is essential for each individual to carefully consider the actions of giving out their confidentiality in a virtual setting.
Additionally
Linking Words
, law enforcement should be expanded to monitor and protect computer networks and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 users, including imposing regulations for businesses in terms of using customer databases for any commercial purposes,
such
Linking Words
 as email marketing and telesales.
As a result
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
organizations should enhance the quality of their security system to ensure the privacy of users accessing their
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 in order to prevent
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of stealing data or scamming. In conclusion, various measures could be considered to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain problems related to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 rise of cybercrime as the use of the internet is
such
Linking Words
 an instrument to
further
Linking Words
 illegal ends.
Submitted by personalwork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: