IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
This
 graph illustrates the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 aged 65 and more than 65 from 1940 to 2040 in three different countries
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
USA
,
Sweden
 and
Japan
is included
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
To begin
 with, the old
age
population
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 were high
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start comparatively which was around 10% and
Japan
 had
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 old
population
 in 1940
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5%.
Sweden
 had
7%-8
Correct article usage
a 7%-8
show examples
% old
age
population
. But, with the passage of time, the
population
 of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 who were 65 years old or more than 65 years
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 increasing in
Sweden
 and
USA
.
On the other hand
, the old
age
population
 in
Japan
 were decreasing till 2000.
Furthermore
, in the current time i.e. 2023, the old
age
population
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is 17%-18%, in
Sweden
, it is around 15%
whereas
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
Japan
, their
population
 is 7%-8% which is
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 comparatively in the current time.
In addition
, the expected
population
 of old
age
 people in
Japan
 will be the highest i.e. 27%
till
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2040,
while
 the
USA
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden
 will have
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 about 23% to 25% of
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
age
population
.
Submitted by khannaughty26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words population, usa, sweden, japan, age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: