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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates the percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 aged 65 and more than 65 from 1940 to 2040 in three different countries
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
USA
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
is included
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the old
age
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 were high
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start comparatively which was around 10% and
Japan
Use synonyms
 had
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 old
population
Use synonyms
 in 1940
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5%.
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had
7%-8
Correct article usage
a 7%-8
show examples
% old
age
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
. But, with the passage of time, the
population
Use synonyms
 of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 who were 65 years old or more than 65 years
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 increasing in
Sweden
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 and
USA
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the old
age
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population
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 in
Japan
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 were decreasing till 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the current time i.e. 2023, the old
age
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population
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 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is 17%-18%, in
Sweden
Use synonyms
, it is around 15%
whereas
Linking Words
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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Japan
Use synonyms
, their
population
Use synonyms
 is 7%-8% which is
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 comparatively in the current time.
In addition
Linking Words
, the expected
population
Use synonyms
 of old
age
Use synonyms
 people in
Japan
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 will be the highest i.e. 27%
till
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2040,
while
Linking Words
 the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 will have
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 about 23% to 25% of
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
age
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by khannaughty26 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, usa, sweden, japan, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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