Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Despite the argument of some
people
that being affluent can create a chance for a person to help
others
, I personally believe that being wealthy is not the most crucial thing for
people
to help
others
. There is a primary reason as follows. Helping
others
hinges on
people
's kindness but not their
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
status
. The true value of helping
people
in need emphasizes the good personality and characteristic traits of the helpers regardless of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their backgrounds and social
status
. Helping
others
not only presents in monetary
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
but
also
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
assists someone in need is another
forms
Replace the adjective
form
show examples
of help. Even though
people
without
Verb problem
do not have
show examples
adequate money to help
others
, they can still take care of
others
physically.
For instance
, children are motivated to become a volunteer to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underprivileged
people
to clean their houses and cook for them. It is undeniable that
people
being wealthy can create more opportunities to help
others
.
However
,
people
who suffer from mental
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
such
as depression,
insomina
Correct your spelling
insomnia
,
emotional
Correct word choice
and emotional
show examples
constraint
Fix the agreement mistake
constraints
show examples
are not looking for love and caring rather than monetary reward. Helping
people
cannot be determined by someone's
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
security.
Instead
, it should be based on our kindness and
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
of
sympath
Correct your spelling
sympathy
to give a hand to
others
. More importantly, it should be the role of educational purpose for
our
Change the word
the
show examples
next generation. In conclusion, I will restate that helping
others
should not be determined by
people
's backgrounds or financial
status
.
Instead
, helping
people
with sincerity is far more important than one's economic
status
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it can be detrimental to our next generation if we emphasize the importance of money to help
people
.
Submitted by khannaughty26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: