In some part of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a negative or positive development?

#part #world #research #history #people #development

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this

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day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the fact that investigating one’s family heritage is increasing significantly.

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essay will examine the main answers to

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phenomenon, and I firmly believe that it is a beneficial tendency. There are various reasons why

individuals

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are drawn to familial lineage.

Firstly

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, discovering family dynamics is an extremely important connection to our ancestors. In fact, knowing about our ancestral roots provides a strong sense of connection to the past, helping

individuals

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understand where they come from and how their family history has shaped their identity.

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knowledge can prove beneficial in various aspects,

such

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as seeking appropriate employment or mastering traditional culinary skills like making Chung cake or Tet cake. Another reason is medical purposes as there are some related health issues. In simpler terms,

individuals

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can gain awareness of hereditary diseases within their family, enabling them to take early preventive measures and ultimately increase their chances of living longer. Based on

reasonable

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the reasonable

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explanations above, I side with those who support

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trend as

positive

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a positive

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development.

First,

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through researching their origins,

individuals

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can adopt valuable techniques and avoid repetitive mistakes that were common during their ancestors' time.

Second,

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this

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practice aids in the preservation of cultural and familial career traditions, which can be enriching and educational for future generations. In fact, history is the route Humans are on today, so the curiosity of the Predecessor is a strong motivation for the next generation in terms of citizens’ attitude in life

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their talented skills for careers. The children in

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family,

for instance

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, have been raised hearing stories about generations of doctors and nurses in their family, and they have been exposed to medical environments from an early age, whether through family discussions or hospital visits. In conclusion, there are different explanations

why

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for why

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people are keen on the interest of descendants, and I totally agree

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is a strong advantage for learning one’s family stories.

Submitted by lekaity966 on Thu Sep 14 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

Ensure introduction and conclusion are clearly distinct and fulfill their specific roles within the essay. It's crucial to set the context and thesis statement early on, and to summarize and restate this thesis in the conclusion along with a concise wrap-up of the main points.

Logical Structure

Your essay should have a clear and logical structure. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure that each subsequent sentence connects to that central idea. Your paragraphs are generally structured, but at times the connections between ideas can be enhanced.

Cohesive Devices

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to show the relationship between ideas. You incorporated some linking words, but a greater variety could improve the overall flow and clarity of your argument.

Supported Main Points

Each paragraph should develop one main idea with relevant support. Some paragraphs in your essay have ideas that could be further elaborated with more specific examples and analysis to deeply support your points.

Complete Response & Idea Development

The response addresses the task, but the development of ideas would benefit from a deeper exploration of the topic. Ensure that your essay fully covers all parts of the prompt, both 'why' individuals engage in this practice and its positive or negative development.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas & Relevant Examples

Make sure that the ideas and examples provided are clear, relevant, and fully developed. The essay shows potential, but it lacks specific and convincingly elaborated examples that address the prompt comprehensively.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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In some part of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a negative or positive development?

Some people believe that entering the workplace after school is far more beneficial than studying at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as the poor countries need the workers more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?