Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the question of changing financial support to another type of help for poorer

countries

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from wealthy ones becomes a field for debate, because today's measures are not helping to solve poverty. I, personally, can strongly agree with the idea of replacing existing ways with more effective strategies in terms of providing sustainable economics for third-world

countries

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and limited resources. To really improve the current situation the best decision is to make a long-lasting strategy, that will offer a poorer country an opportunity to become fully independent one day.

Firstly

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, there is a need to find a country's own resources, that can help to build a strong economy. It could be minerals, fertile soil or even tourism.

For instance

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, OAE was

also

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in misery before there was found a local oil field.

Secondly

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, it is necessary to teach people how to maintain these resources and send professionals, who could teach them. Another reason to change the way of treatment in those

countries

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is that sending financial aid is

also

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harmful to the giving side.

Although

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other types of help could be more expensive, they are

also

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more productive.

Furthermore

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, in 10 years the country will be stable and you will not need to send money again. A great example is Bali, in the

last

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decade

this

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island has decreased the level of poverty through successful tourism campaigns. In conclusion, I can't agree with the statement about keeping international politics in the same spot and not providing other opportunities to fulfil the economic starvation of poor

countries

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sofakruglova2002Tue Aug 06 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on each argument to provide a clearer and more detailed analysis. For instance, explain more fully how teaching people to maintain resources would work and what specific benefits it would bring.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are well-developed and avoid overly general statements. Providing more specific examples and data can enhance your arguments’ effectiveness.

coherence cohesion

Maintain unity and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. This helps in avoiding cohesion issues and makes your views clearer and more organized.

coherence cohesion

Try to use a variety of cohesive devices and linking words to improve the flow between and within paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay generally maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, helping the reader follow your argumentation.

task achievement

Specific examples like OAE and Bali are effective in illustrating your points and adding depth to your arguments.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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