Write about the following topic: Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#topic #people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

There are differing views on the aim

for

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show examples

university

tuition. Whilst one group believes the objective

for

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show examples

this

level of education is to make graduates suitable for the job market,

others

argue the purpose is for the broader benefit of individuals and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society as a whole.

This

essay seeks to look at both sides of the matter. My opinion is that tertiary training serves all the purposes stated.

To begin

with, I can understand the thought that states that attaining a tertiary school certificate enhances one's chances of acquiring a better job.

This

is somewhat true. Some people pursue

university

studies to equip them for better professions. To clearly illustrate

this

, a number of

white color

Correct your spelling

white-collar

show examples

jobs

such

as being a medical doctor, lawyer or engineer are reserved for persons who have completed

university

training and have certificates for these. It is obvious from

this

that some careers are only reserved for personnel who have completed

university

education.

Therefore

, for

persons

Replace the word

people

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to become medical doctors

for

Add the comma(s)

,for

show examples

example, it is only logical for them to train

Change preposition

show examples

university

to enable them

realise

Add the particle

to realise

show examples

their dreams.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

however

university

education grooms people to make them fit better in society and live a normal adult life. Taking myself

for example

, I learnt to be independent during my

university

days as I learnt to cook and keep my space clean. These stem from living away from family and having to take up certain responsibilities to live well which I would

otherwise

not have if not for that opportunity.

Also

, Sir Williams' survey of working adults showed that individuals had improved interpersonal relationships from having to share hostels with

others

at the

university

. They are said to have developed ways to cope with

others

from different backgrounds. These experiences

has

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have

show examples

made it easier for them to fit anywhere when it comes to relating with

others

at church, work,

personal

Correct word choice

and personal

show examples

relationships

but

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apply

show examples

to mention a few. The

above stated

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above-stated

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reasons

garners

Change the verb form

garner

show examples

the added benefits of

university

schooling.

To sum up

, it is evident that, there are individual and societal gains from tertiary training that

goes

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

beyond better job acquisition and I strongly agree with these.

Submitted by nmaureen03 on Thu Sep 14 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

363 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

International entertainers, including sports personalities, often get paid millions of dollars in one year. In your view, with widespread poverty in the world, are these huge earnings justified?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As housing is a basic need for people, government should provide free housing for everyone who cannot afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?