The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions

The given line chart demonstrates the

population

that lived in cities rates in the

Philippines

Malaysia

Thailand

, and

Indonesia

between 1970 to 2020 and

also

anticipates their future rates by 2040. As an overview,

Malaysia

and

Indonesia

figures show a striking increase in their

population

this

70-year period.

In addition

Thailand

population

not only experienced a massive rise between 1970 and 2020, but

also

it is going to face more growth in

population

in 2040.

In contrast

, Philippine figures show fluctuations over

this

time period. As it can be observable, at the beginning of the time period

Philippines

was the leader in the city

population

rate with approximately 31% and

Malaysia

Thailand

and

Indonesia

took part onward with 30%, nearly 18% and close to 15% respectively.

However

, by 2001 not only

Malaysia

had overtaken the

Philippines

, but

also

Indonesia

overtook

Thailand

with roughly 30% of the city

population

On the other hand

Malaysia

has become the leader in city

population

with a massive difference in percentage number having 25%, 35% and 45% more

population

than

Indonesia

, the

Philippines

, and

Thailand

respectively.

However

due to

a huge rise that cities will experience in 2040

Malaysia

Indonesia

Philippines

, and

Thailand

will have 80%,60%,54% and approximately 50% of their populations in the cities respectively.

Submitted by hedoyeraisy on Thu Sep 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

graph
percentage
population
Asian countries
living in cities
1970
2020
predictions
2030
2040
introduction
overview
trend
body paragraph
compare
predicted percentages
summarize
closing statement

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The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Topic. In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages ?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to shared freely.

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.