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The graph illustrates the proportion of people that visited various amusement centres in Brighton in the range of 1980 to 2010.

The graph illustrates the proportion of people that visited various amusement centres in Brighton in the range of 1980 to 2010.
#proportion #people #amusement #centres #brighton #range
The graph illustrates the proportion of people that visited various amusement centres in Brighton in the range of 1980 to 2010.
Overall
, the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of people that visited the Pavillion rose,
when
Correct word choice
while
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 the
precentage
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percentage
 of
vistiors
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visitors
in
Change preposition
to
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 the Art Gallery fell quite a bit, over the course of 30 years. The graph clearly shows that the overwhelming majority of people
has
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have
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 shown more interest in visiting the Pavillion than visiting the Art
Galerry
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Gallery
. From 1980 to 1995, the proportion of commonfolk in the Pavillion has risen at a
signifacnt
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significant
 rate, starting off from 25%
reaching
Correct word choice
and reaching
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 a
whooping
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whopping
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 47%, obtaining a positive trend of just about 22%, only to plummet by a great amount afterwards, ending at 30%.
In contrast
,
while
 having ascended at a quicker rate from 20% to 37%, Art Gallery has indicated a wild downward trend, ultimately ending up with the lowest
percantage
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percentage
 among its counterparts.
In contrast
,
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
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 has had a steady rate, going down, only to go up by a slight amount numerous times,
while
 the Pier fluctuated its way to an upward trend. In general, the whole graph indicates a good level of diversity.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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