some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

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We all know how important it is to retire after working hard for many years.

While

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Remove the comma

apply

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many people are calling for a fixed

age

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to do it, I would argue that a more flexible retirement system should be adopted that takes into consideration what type

Use synonyms

job

Change preposition

of job

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the retiree had.

Firstly

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, some occupations can lead to higher strain on the body.

For instance

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, truckers and builders suffer from more

job

Use synonyms

injuries than others.

this

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is because of the tasks nature they carry out day by day. To illustrate, trackers have to drive fifty hours a week, during which they are continuously

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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exposed to vibration

form

Correct your spelling

from

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the truck which leads to chronic pain in the back.

In contrast

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, having a desk

job

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would not lead to

such

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effect

Correct article usage

an effect

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on the body.

Therefore

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, it is important to consider the work field to set an

age

Use synonyms

to retire.

Secondly

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, people should be able to retire earlier if their

job

Use synonyms

can pose a threat to them or to the society around them. As we advance in

age

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, our immune system gets weaker.

For example

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, doctors and nurses, who are senior

citizen

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citizens

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, would have a tougher time fighting an infection than a younger doctor. For that reason, it is of utmost importance to address

this

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issue when deciding

retirement

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on retirement

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age

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, where some

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job

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jobs

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could lead to very serious health problems for the elderly.

To sum up

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, some jobs could be more stressful and more dangerous to be carried out after a certain.

that is

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the reason I disagree with setting a fixed

age

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for retirement.

Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on Thu Sep 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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