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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #behaviour #action
Some
people
 owe money because they purchase unnecessary goods that they cannot afford. Relentless advertising in the
media
 and the easy availability of
credit
 are the main reasons for
this
, and I believe it is the responsibility of governments to intervene and issue stricter guidelines to prevent irresponsible lending and to regulate advertising in the
media
. Advertising in the
media
 has caused many
people
 to go into debt. Clever marketing can lead
people
 to believe they need something when in reality they do not, driving them to spend unnecessarily. Another reason that
people
 are buying things they cannot afford is the fact that
credit
 is easily available. Nowadays financial institutions make it widely known that anyone can get a
credit
 card or a loan.
For example
, wonga.com has been heavily criticized in the United Kingdom for providing short-term loans at
high interest
Add a hyphen
high-interest
show examples
 rates that can be instantly sent to someone’s bank account after applying online. These practices could be curbed through government regulation of excessive advertising and unsound lending practices.
In other words
, if governments capped the amount of advertising allowed in the
media
 and required applicants for loans or
credit
 to prove that they have sufficient income,
people
 would be under less pressure to spend recklessly and
also
 would not have the means to do so.
For example
, in Germany, a person is not allowed to borrow more than 10% of their annual income in any one year, and if they do, the bank will be penalized with a heavy fine. In conclusion, rampant lending and excessive marketing have led to many
people
 being burdened with debt, but
this
 can be avoided if authorities regulate advertising and loans.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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