IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares how consumers in the United
States
Use synonyms
,
Canada
Use synonyms
, the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
, and
Japan
Use synonyms
 allocated different shares of total spending to categories
such
Linking Words
 as
food
Use synonyms
, housing, and
transportation
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most of the consumers of the four countries spent more finance in Housing,
transportation
Use synonyms
 and
food
Use synonyms
 sectors rather than on the clothing and healthcare sectors. We can see that the United
States
Use synonyms
 had the highest housing expenditure
share
Use synonyms
, 26% of total expenditures in 2009. The United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 followed, with 24% and 22%, respectively.
Canada
Use synonyms
 had the lowest housing
share
Use synonyms
 at 21%. Housing was the largest expenditure component in all countries except
Japan
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Canada
Use synonyms
 had the largest
transportation
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 of all four countries at 20%. The United
States
Use synonyms
 and the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 had the next-highest
transportation
Use synonyms
 shares, 17% and 15%, respectively.
Japan
Use synonyms
 had the lowest, at 10%.
However
Linking Words
, in
Japan
Use synonyms
, consumers spent 23% of their total expenditures on
food
Use synonyms
 in 2009. The United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 had the second-highest
share
Use synonyms
 at 20%.
Canada
Use synonyms
, with 15%, and the United
States
Use synonyms
, with 14% had the lowest
food
Use synonyms
 expenditure shares among the
states
Use synonyms
 studied. Meanwhile, though they disbursed most finance for housing & and
food
Use synonyms
 purposes, the healthcare sector is always less considered. The USA spent more finance in health care sectors at 8% compared to other nations. In clothing,
Canada
Use synonyms
 outlaid above 5% of funds and England is the second nation who spent 5 per cent.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words states, canada, kingdom, japan, food, transportation, share with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: