it is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employee. do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks,

#aspiration #people #business #work #employee

These days every time you open the television or flick the pages of the newspaper you will the young entrepreneurs. Some people believe that most of the

students

like to do for themself. I completely believe that it is an advantage and in

this

,essay I will support my opinion with an example.

Firstly

, starting your own

business

is an opportunity for teenagers.

For example

,many

students

are talented and have leadership qualities and market knowledge which will help them to understand the

business

needs.

On the other hand

, spending their time in

business

can help them to grow and earn more money if the

business

is successful. Another reason why it is an advantage is that young people can have their own time with their families and are not required to get approval from the management.

Furthermore

, there is an argument that many

students

need experience before they start their eanterpronureship. As a ,result many of them fail when they open new. In conclusion,

although

it is a common aspiration among young people to work for themself these an opportunities for

students

. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

personally

Add a comma

,personally

show examples

I think every teenager should give one chance to themself.

Submitted by pr6272189 on Thu Sep 14 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

193 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

autonomy
implement
strategies
flexibility
diversification
innovative
fulfillment
stress
imbalanced
crucial
financial stability
competitive edge
adaptability

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it is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employee. do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks,

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes? What are the solutions?