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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

it is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employee. do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks,

#aspiration #people #business #work #employee
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These days every time you open the television or flick the pages of the newspaper you will the young entrepreneurs. Some people believe that most of the
students
Use synonyms
 like to do for themself. I completely believe that it is an advantage and in
this
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 ,essay I will support my opinion with an example.
Firstly
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, starting your own
business
Use synonyms
 is an opportunity for teenagers.
For example
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,many
students
Use synonyms
 are talented and have leadership qualities and market knowledge which will help them to understand the
business
Use synonyms
 needs.
On the other hand
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, spending their time in
business
Use synonyms
 can help them to grow and earn more money if the
business
Use synonyms
 is successful. Another reason why it is an advantage is that young people can have their own time with their families and are not required to get approval from the management.
Furthermore
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, there is an argument that many
students
Use synonyms
 need experience before they start their eanterpronureship. As a ,result many of them fail when they open new. In conclusion,
although
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 it is a common aspiration among young people to work for themself these an opportunities for
students
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. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
personally
Add a comma
,personally
show examples
 I think every teenager should give one chance to themself.
Submitted by pr6272189 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • implement
  • strategies
  • flexibility
  • diversification
  • innovative
  • fulfillment
  • stress
  • imbalanced
  • crucial
  • financial stability
  • competitive edge
  • adaptability
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