Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
have different views about how one should spend their
time
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
think spending
time
Use synonyms
in attaining a successful career should be paramount others disagree. Rather, they suggest it is more essential to spend
time
Use synonyms
with family and allies. I will look at both views in
this
Linking Words
essay.
To begin
Linking Words
with, a successful job comes from rising along the professional ladder.
This
Linking Words
matters because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
working hard to attain a higher rank comes with boosting a person's confidence and salary increment. Research has shown that most employees define
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
work-life as one that gives them higher
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
. Obviously, money is key to living a comfortable life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is understandable why
people
Use synonyms
will advise
pursuit
Correct article usage
the pursuit
show examples
of success at work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I can understand the argument for making friends and family a priority than
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
. It is a well-known fact that wealth does not guarantee happiness. We all need
people
Use synonyms
to share in our joy when we are happy and to comfort us when we are sad. It is easier for
people
Use synonyms
to reciprocate
love
Add an article
the love
show examples
shown
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
and as we know, only human beings can offer
such
Linking Words
emotions.
This
Linking Words
highlights the need for individuals to make
time
Use synonyms
for others in their lives.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are good reasons why one should spend equal
time
Use synonyms
in progressing through their occupation and
also
Linking Words
make
time
Use synonyms
for their loved ones. In my opinion, both of these matter to living a fulfilled life.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • strike a balance
  • ambitious
  • dedicated
  • work-life balance
  • career-oriented
  • professional success
  • financial stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • contribute
  • supportive
  • cherish
  • bond
  • memorable
  • experience
  • social connections
  • commitment
  • advocate
  • sacrifice
  • juggle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: