IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that it is possible for a county to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #county #environment
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It is said by some people that, for a nation to be economically
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 whilst having a clean and green environment is achievable
whereas
Linking Words
 a section of people rejects
this
Linking Words
 notion. I agree with the given statement and will explain my point of view in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraph.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a surrounding free from pollutants will increase the life expectancy of individuals.
For instance
Linking Words
, there will be fewer numbers of
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 issues from air
pollution
Use synonyms
,
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
,
noise
Correct word choice
and noise
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pollution
Use synonyms
. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 outcome of
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 physical state, individuals could work for longer
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 of time with great efficiency, which,
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
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 will boost the economy of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should bring new
polices
Correct your spelling
policies
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 for local non-governmental organisations,
community
Correct word choice
and community
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 members,who work for
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 safety and protection.
This
Linking Words
 will encourage them to work efficiently.
Furthermore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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car
Use synonyms
 manufacturers can opt for natural gas as a substitute for diesel petrol cars. It will keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature clean and green without affecting the
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
 of
car
Use synonyms
 manufacturers.
Lastly
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, the
gaint
Correct your spelling
giant
 industries which contribute a huge part in building a
country
Use synonyms
 's economy should use alternative measures to reduce
pollution
Use synonyms
. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 example, the industry draining polluted
water
Use synonyms
 in natural
water
Use synonyms
 bodies should treat it, so that it could be
resued
Correct your spelling
rescued
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 by them. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
water
Use synonyms
 can be saved and
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 will be no longer an issue. The above measures can make a nation financially strong
along with
Linking Words
 making
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
Use synonyms
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, a section of people believe,
switching
Correct word choice
that switching
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 to alternative sources which
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to better environmental conditions will be costly.
For example
Linking Words
, a compressed natural gas
car
Use synonyms
 is more expensive than
diesel
Correct article usage
a diesel
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 one. But they don't know in
longer
Rephrase
the long
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 run fuel prices will increase and ultimately diesel
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 will
also
Linking Words
 be expensive.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my opinion, a
country
Use synonyms
 can be made economically
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 with
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
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 nature by practising
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 simple steps by every individual and
organisations
Fix the agreement mistake
organisation
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Submitted by anand.palak81 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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