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Band 4.5

Some people say that it is possible for a county to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #county #environment
It is said by some people that, for a nation to be economically
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 whilst having a clean and green environment is achievable
whereas
 a section of people rejects
this
 notion. I agree with the given statement and will explain my point of view in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraph.
Firstly
, a surrounding free from pollutants will increase the life expectancy of individuals.
For instance
, there will be fewer numbers of
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 issues from air
pollution
,
water
pollution
,
noise
Correct word choice
and noise
show examples
pollution
. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 outcome of
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 physical state, individuals could work for longer
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of time with great efficiency, which,
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 will boost the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
In addition
 to
this
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should bring new
polices
Correct your spelling
policies
show examples
 for local non-governmental organisations,
community
Correct word choice
and community
show examples
 members,who work for
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 safety and protection.
This
 will encourage them to work efficiently.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
 manufacturers can opt for natural gas as a substitute for diesel petrol cars. It will keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature clean and green without affecting the
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
 of
car
 manufacturers.
Lastly
, the
gaint
Correct your spelling
giant
 industries which contribute a huge part in building a
country
 's economy should use alternative measures to reduce
pollution
. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 example, the industry draining polluted
water
 in natural
water
 bodies should treat it, so that it could be
resued
Correct your spelling
rescued
show examples
 by them. In
this
 way,
water
 can be saved and
water
pollution
 will be no longer an issue. The above measures can make a nation financially strong
along with
 making
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
show examples
.
However
, a section of people believe,
switching
Correct word choice
that switching
show examples
 to alternative sources which
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to better environmental conditions will be costly.
For example
, a compressed natural gas
car
 is more expensive than
diesel
Correct article usage
a diesel
show examples
 one. But they don't know in
longer
Rephrase
the long
show examples
 run fuel prices will increase and ultimately diesel
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 will
also
 be expensive.
To conclude
, in my opinion, a
country
 can be made economically
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 with
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
show examples
 nature by practising
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 simple steps by every individual and
organisations
Fix the agreement mistake
organisation
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Submitted by anand.palak81 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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